Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Summer Blues

I'm feeling a little guilty these days.  Ok, a lot guilty! I want school to start back today! Now, remember I was a homeschooling mom so my kids were with me all the time.  I don't remember feeling like this back then.  My kids talked a lot which can be exhausting and I don't remember TV being a summer option to pass the time.  They did have each other but I also recall Blaire never joining Jacob with his Lego creations and Jacob never dressing up Blaire's American Girl dolls so they must have learned how to play alone.  I know all kids are different but I'm 44!  It's young when I want it to be but with a toddler? Not so much.  I'm in a world with teens that drive, work and have extracurricular activities that keep them from being in the home more than two hours during my waking existence.  My days seem to last longer than 24 hours.  Is that even possible? As you can guess, I'm referring to my one and only, lovable little four year old.  Zoe is a laugh all day.  I picked her up from Princess Camp (yes, this is a thing) and she asked me what I did when I was all by myself.  I told her today I went to the bookstore and she says, "without me?"  Like I can't possibly do fun things without her.  She is such a lovable kid that I wish I could change my love language to words of affirmation or touch because that's all she dishing out to this mom.  Too soon to ask her for a gift to really show me love? I think I work better with a routine.  Let me rephrase that; I know I do but summer is the opposite of rigid and routine.  I could do without this laid back attitude the world has enforced during the months of June, July and August!  I have Zoe in two VBS programs and was elated to see another one pop up down the street.  That one is in the evening but I'll take it.   Yes, she's learning about God but I am the happiest mom dropping her off.  I used to loathe moms like me back in the day.  I was the VBS coordinator and all moms should do their duty and serve! LOL! Now this should make me feel guilty, right?  Convicted, maybe? Nope!  I got nothing.  Literally, nothing to give.  I'm tapped out.  So, I look forward to VBS, then a family camping trip, followed by two more weeks of VBS and a trip without kids then glorious Labor Day.  I can't tell you exactly how many days that is but I know we will be back to school shopping soon to make it feel sooner! Aww summer!