tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20788369329262769492024-03-13T10:39:09.097-07:00Your Journey MattersAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-4424006791593590662016-04-10T04:40:00.000-07:002016-04-10T05:28:47.221-07:00Let me be her answered prayerToday I was looking back on a journal I began writing when we first started our adoption journey. I wrote,<br />
'Lord, where are you taking me? I'm entering a world, a journey, I know nothing about. Being so helpless, poor and alone that I cannot care for my own child. I don't personally know anyone who lives like this, yet is this my child's birth mom? Is she too young, or sick or has other children and cannot feed another? I will take them. Let me be your hands and feet to help a girl who can't bear to be separated from their child but has no choice. Let me be her answered prayer.'<br />
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Reading back on my journals remind me of the incredible miracle we have in Zoe. We are approaching her 3rd Gotcha Day on April 12 and I'm always reminiscent of the events and thoughts and prayers that lead us to being her parents. I write an update on her growth and development every year and send it to our agency in hopes that this will allow Ethiopia and other countries support the adoption effort that is so needed. Just a couple of months after we brought Zoe home her orphanage shut down and the children who were 'left' were sent back to their villages. I cannot even imagine. I support the way our agency chose a child for us rather than us looking through pictures and choosing one that stood out to us. We were on the journey to choose two children at one time. We were told it's a longer wait for a sibling group but we could wait. In my journal, I was reminded of some government changes towards adoption cases. We still were giving this to God and waited for two children to show up for us to adopt. Scott went to Haiti during the aftermath of the earthquake at that time and obviously was struck by the huge orphan crisis in Haiti. I wrote about God softening our hearts to possibly one child in Ethiopia and one from Haiti. I'm so glad I documented my thoughts. The process was full of changes and answered prayers along the way. How could I rely on anything but God in this situation? He knew the big picture. I would wake at night worrying for our child. On Mar.11'11 I wrote about reading Mark 14. In preparing for the Passover with Jesus some disciples were instructed to go to a city and find a man and follow him to his home etc. and in verse 16 it says,'and the disciples left, went into the city and found things just as Jesus had told them.' I always think about how Jesus could just get the essentials himself. Make them appear and still amaze his friends. Just like he could make this government block disappear. Allow Zoe to come home and not endure life in an orphanage. I asked God many times why we were jumping through unnecessary hoops to do a good thing. God says take care of the orphans and we wanted to but why did it take three years? The disciples got to go on a journey and watch how every detail of this Passover feast was unfolding by following His every step. We took lots of steps I had forgotten about. That's why I journal.<br />
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Saying yes to God never comes up short. I'm listening to the audio book titled, 'What Happens When Women Say Yes To God'. Lysa Terkeurst says,'Don't look at your inabilities and give into your insecurities.' 'In my disobedience what am I missing?' If I didn't say yes to adoption look at what I would have missed out on! <br />
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We waited three years for Zoe and now we have had her in our care for three years. How can that be? My yearly update included how Zoe loves school. She has been a great world traveler. She eats well and growing like a weed. She is getting better at sports and loves to read.<br />
I often Facebook about the crazy things Zoe comes up with and I want to leave you with what I documented on Feb. 27'16<br />
Tonight Zoe asked Scott to read her about Jesus' death. So they read the bible and she said, 'What is rich?' Scott answered. 'What is poor'? Scott answered. Then Zoe said, 'I was poor.' Scott told her that her birth mommy loved her very much and God had a plan for her. Zoe answered, 'ya, to be with you guys.' It makes me cry every time!<br />
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Psalm 22 is a cry for help by David. Verse 24 says,'For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.' <br />
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I thank God that He listened to the cry for help by two moms and for their worlds to collide. We were each other's answered prayer. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-43162675672344718492016-02-16T06:01:00.001-08:002016-02-16T06:01:50.794-08:00Forgetfulness Is Not A Virtue<div style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I recently read a great blog someone reposted on Facebook. I agreed wholeheartedly with her parenting tips. It was clever and witty and I wished I wrote the blog myself. Then I thought, is that what I'm doing? Trying to write the best blog? Get the most likes? Be heard? Then I sat in silence for about 30 minutes. That's a long time, I know. Kids are sleeping, Scott is out of town and even the dog we are watching is cooperating with the silence I'm experiencing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am a big note taker. I think I've admitted that before. I love sticky notes and journals and what the heck did I ever do before I had an apple phone with a note taking app. And don't get me started on life without Siri. From grocery lists, to birthdays, I can't retain these simple items in my brain anymore. I find myself arguing with Scott more often about not remembering his schedule and blame him for not telling me, when I probably just didn't listen (better yet blame Siri for dropping the ball). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Every single day I laugh at something my kids say or am amazed at what God teaches me or marvel at the wisdom that comes out of Scott's mouth (that's going to score me some brownie points). So I write them down. Blogs form in my head all the time and most days they don't go out into internet space ( yes I just called it that). So I had to ask myself; do I blog for others to learn from my infamous wisdom? Heck no. My blogging started when I first accepted weakness in my life and felt the need that it was therapeutic to spill my guts to the world ( I known that not many people read this thing). It's easier then making an appointment with someone who will listen and analyze my thoughts. Way cheaper too. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Internet therapy. I blog to remember. I blog for sanity. I love reading other people's blogs too. Another searching soul who shares their scars, mistakes and triumphs. That's what we do every day. So in my 30 minutes of silence I want to remember four things today. </span></div>
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<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I must stop beating myself up for forgetting. I try to remember people's birthdays, surgery dates and prayer requests. But we all have crazy lives and forgetting doesn't always mean I don't care. Its more about discernment. What thought, care or task will occupy my brain today? I will give grace to others when they forget my junk too. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Life is short. Dare I say 'seize the day'. I don't know how long I have on this earth so make the most of every day. For me that doesn't just mean I do things to keep myself happy and comfortable but to allow God to guide my steps each day to make my day worthwhile. </span></li>
<li style="color: #454545; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Remember where I came from and I don't mean Canada. I mean my upbringing. My faith in Jesus Christ. Joshua 24 reminds me of the testimony he gave to his people before he died,'who will you serve?' Then declared in verse 14, 'as for me and my house I will serve the Lord'. </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There. A simple list. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Today I'm planning on scrapbooking with a friend and place memories in a book that my kids can have around for life. What will you remember today? Maybe it's time to start your own blog. </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-73438815920839974722015-12-28T06:42:00.000-08:002015-12-28T06:48:38.454-08:00Love is...<span style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Being the youngest of five, I grew up sharing a room with all my sisters at some point. But I remember sharing a room with my oldest sister the most. I think because when I was 8 she was 20 and she had a phone, tv, record player, 2 goldfish and makeup! She liked me when I kept out of her things. Not much space was designated for an 8 year old's treasures except for under the bed. I remember competing for door space to put puffy stickers and a Beverly name plate with my sister's Love Is ... Comic strip taped all over 'our' door. These were big in the 70's. Love is ... what gives you a smile from ear to ear. Love is .... Being able to say you are sorry. You get the picture. I was reminded of these comic strips that covered our bedroom door while reflecting on Christmas and a new year approaching. I came across the book, Crazy Love, By Francis Chan in my ibooks on my phone and started re-reading it. A line struck me today;</span><br />
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“Nothing compares to being truly, exuberantly wanted by your children.”<br />
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My primary love language is gifts. This means I feel loved the most when you buy me something. How shallow right? It's really not. I didn't hear the words I love you as much as 'let's go to McDonalds and get a small fry' or 'I'm going to take you to Niagara Falls and of course buy you a giant souvenir pencil'. Yep, I was definitely loved. I do the same for my kids. Even though not all three have the gifts love language I'm good at showing my affection this way. Love. How will I be challenged to be more loving in 2016? It's an emotion I struggle with if I don't feel like it. But that line above from the Crazy Love book really makes me think about how much God wants me to love Him. Am I living a life that shows God, my Heavenly Father, that He is wanted? </div>
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"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!</div>
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—Matthew 7:11”</div>
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See, I think the gifts love language is legit. I don't need a hug, I don't always need the affirmative words and you don't have to serve me. Just buy me jewelry and we can be friends. Just kidding. I want to reflect on all the good gifts my Lord has given me this year. No! I NEED to reflect on all the love God has bestowed upon me! Be more appreciative of His good gifts. </div>
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I’m entering a year jammed packed with change. In fact, if I’m honest, it terrifies me. I’m coming up on new territory with Jacob, my oldest, getting married this summer. I'm cherishing the last lunches I'm making for Blaire as she enters the home stretch to graduate highschool. I'm entering a stage of new status as mother- in- law and want to do it all well. Showers, grad parties, celebrations, decisions, planning, money…! I want Love is statements to flow from my mouth and my heart in 2016.<br />
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I love new beginnings and fresh starts! What's your Love is statement today or better yet what will your focus be for 2016! Happy New Year! </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-60052863909226015542015-12-10T03:27:00.000-08:002015-12-10T03:27:44.188-08:00mosquitos think I'm chocolate<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">I think the mosquitos think I'm chocolate. </span><br style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">Just one of the funny things Zoe said yesterday. That girl makes me laugh daily. And others too. She says the simplest of things and yet so profound. My 6 year old doesn't complain much. This was actually her way of telling us she was being bugged by the little flies in her face but stated something possibly really true. Mosquitos crave your blood like I crave chocolate so I get it girl. It's also a fun way Zoe stays real about who she is and what she looks like. She knows she's brown like chocolate. We have gone in stages with how Zoe realizes she's different. On a daily basis kids in preschool used to comment on her hair. One boy told her mom he liked the way her skin looked. I don't know anyone in her class that stays away from Zoe because her skin is brown. She has an infectious smile and laugh and gets invited to every party going. She is loved. </span><br />
<br style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;" /><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">We were on a tour in the Blue Mountains of Australia yesterday. The tour guide might have had some reservation having a six year old on his private tour starting at 7 am. But she was quiet, polite and inquisitive. A perfect companion on a tour. After viewing God's amazing nature we stopped at a quaint town with boutique shops. We were left to find some lunch and browse the shops for an hour. When we returned to our van the tour guide presented Zoe with a gift. A Santa cookie jar. So sweet and unexpected and so not necessary. On our next stop at the wildlife center Zoe runs out of the van and hugs our tour guide. That's Zoe. She is lovable and loves hard. Being a father of three he hugged her back. We talked later about my adoption. A Jewish man from Israel who has traveled the world and has visited my hometownToronto. He was surprised to find out my husband and son have also been to his. A family man trying to make a living who was friendly and polite. I'm not saying all people are friendly and polite but the more I travel the more I realize how important it is to accept people everywhere i go. I chatted with a lady from Japan in the park three days ago. She was curious about our Christmas traditions and I asked about hers. You know I had someone tell me I shouldn't adopt Zoe because she is from a muslim country. A sad statement stemmed from ignorant thinking. With all that is going on in the world I'm not sure what is the correct way to help Syrians or other refugees from crises but I do know we need to love. I know they have children who need medical attention that can be given in America. I know they have children who need an education to one day have the chance to be a doctor. Right or wrong I know I'm called to love. After vacation I will be thrown back into Christmas chaos mode. I'm a little behind on my Christmas to do list however I vow to take some time every day to pray for our country and its leaders, reach out to someone in need and be thankful for all God has given me. My ugly 'entitled' gene must diminish if God is going to use me to spread His kingdom. Whether you celebrate Christ's birth or not I wish you a very Merry Christmas. </span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-46133565476795492802015-07-18T05:12:00.000-07:002015-07-18T05:14:44.179-07:00Green Shoelaces and Life Lessons So many times we overlook reading the Bible for answers. Often times it's viewed as old fashioned and irrelevant. I've read it many times over the course of my life and I'm constantly surprised at how God uses His word to encourage and speak to me and answer questions.<br />
I'm in a summer long challenge to read the Bible guided by a book put together for our Hope Water running group. It came with green laces to boot so if you are bold enough to wear the florescent green laces you are saying 'I'm in this reading challenge for 20 weeks.' Now, I have to admit I'm not up-to-date with it. I'm a few days behind,generally, but I want to take it all in without rushing. Today, I was reading a passage that I was familiar with. Sad to say, but sometimes I approach these ones with less excitement and attentiveness that leaves me void of any new insight. This morning it's quiet and it's just me and God. I opened my Bible and read Luke 1. <br />
The birth of Jesus is foretold and we read about the birth of John the Baptist. Zechariah (his dad) blew it by expressing his doubt in God. Been there, done that. God made him mute for the duration of his wife's pregnancy. But it was ok. God spoke to both John's parents and how cool that they got to see their son was set out for a great purpose. They stepped back and watched God move. Then I got the hand to forehead 'V8' moment. This little workbook I'm using to guide my reading asks three questions every day. 1. What does the passage say? 2. What does it mean? 3. How can I apply this insight to my life today?<br />
As parents, everyday we watch our kids grow and I keep hearing the phrase over and over 'where does the time go?' I constantly have to keep my hands open when it comes to my kids. Their schooling, friends, choices. We must guide and step back. I don't want my kids to get to the age of 18 and not be ready for real life. Luke 1:80 says,'and the child grew and became strong in spirit'. I have two now at this stage in life where I have to watch and let go. <br />
So today Luke 1 means to me that as a mother I'm to give my kids to God. He has a perfect plan. Step away and be in awe of how God is guiding them without me! Whew! With all the chaos and worry in the world this really is a peaceful place to be. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-1426016017508652292015-06-16T05:29:00.001-07:002015-06-16T05:29:35.599-07:00Sibling admiration It hit me when Zoe started off her day following her big sis around on the morning of Blaire's 17th birthday. She said, 'Blaire, when I'm 6 I'm going to do the same things you do; sleep in and do my homework'. Zoe's presence has radically changed both Jacob and Blaire. When adoption first hit our radar I wanted my kids on board. I was afraid they would reject the change and chaos it would create in our family. It had been the four of us for a long time and Jacob and Blaire were very close. I didn't know what a new addition would do to all of us. I have to say that Zoe is very privleged to have a wonderful sister who loves her so much. From day one in Ethiopia, Blaire was so excited to meet her and to have a younger sister. She never gets upset with her and gives her so much attention. Blaire has many friends and when they come over they too are playful and attentive and love Zoe like their own sister. Jacob didn't get a chance to go to Ethiopia with us but the second we were greeted at the airport by the family I put Zoe in his arms and she has felt so comfortable in his embrace ever since. They were just two kids who grew up with following us in a few big moves and this was no less a crazy idea when we first began to talk about it out loud. I couldn't be happier to see Zoe learn and grow in character with two wonderful examples living with her daily. It fills my heart to see her love them and talk about them to her friends and the age difference doesn't matter. Jacob has come home more often to be with Zoe through college and they both babysit a lot.<br />
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An awesome family moment Scott and I enjoyed recently was when all the kids were around the breakfast table on a beautiful, sunny Saturday morning and they brought up the idea of getting a dog. It was something we talked about but wasn't prepared for. We gave in to the emotion and within 30 minutes we had chosen an adorable goldendoodle. This dog was going to be bigger than we have ever experienced but why not, the kids were happy. Yeah, that lasted all of 24 hours for Scott and I. Even though the kids begged and swore they would take care of it, I was left with waking up early and training it all day long. I began to regret the idea but kept seeing the joy it brought the kids. Until, Zoe would complain it was biting her ankles and when Scott saw his temper flare and his attention switched from Zoe to tending to a dog. The kids still had commitments and weren't home as much as we would have liked. This was not working out. Since it was only 2 1/2 weeks Scott and I had to make a bold move. We figured our kids would come together and understand the decision soon enough. We broke it to them one evening and they could not argue with our reasoning. Scott and I stayed strong and by the next morning we had a new home to bring it to. Not my finest parenting moment and the kid's consolation prize was that I experienced so much sadness all day long. This wasn't our plan to take the dog away but after one month now, everyone is fine and we are happier without a dog. Zoe doesn't miss it and the way the kids reacted toward us was so great for Zoe to witness. <br />
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We sometimes say that adoption is such a huge blessing for the one adopted ( and of course it is ) but I look at how the other two have grown in ways I couldn't have dreamed of. They have seen God move and change them in the last two years. They have seen answered prayers and continue to marvel at what He is doing through our obedience. Through family group texts we share the wit this girl comes out with daily and I can't imagine life without her. Here's a few I've written down lately. Enjoy.<br />
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When Mike Carl walked into her room Zoe said,' This is my room and don't even think about touching my Elsa hat'<br />
Zoe told Scott, 'if you have grey hair, I don't care.'<br />
I asked Zoe to help me carry some bags from the car and she responded, 'I would be honored to.'<br />
Last week after breakfast Zoe hands Scott her bowl of cereal and says ' Here Daddy, if I drink too much milk I will get diabetes.' (she meant diarrhea) <br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-47376275667267736712015-04-08T14:47:00.000-07:002015-04-08T14:47:12.601-07:00The Good Life<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm not sure where to start with this one. I just woke up and thought 'it's really a good life'. Waking up at 3:30 a.m isn't my ideal, however, it's for good reason. Today I'm off on my second trip in three years that I get to travel with my oldest daughter, Blaire. Just me and her. Three years ago we took a winter break trip to San Francisco. She took lots of pictures, we saw the sights and drove up and down the coast. Life has gotten crazy since then. Zoe came on the scene and Blaire, well, got older. She loves her friends and has countless sleepovers and mom gets pushed to the side. Ugh. Teens! I don't think anyone could have warned me for the feelings I encounter on a daily basis living with a teenage girl. I used to love roller coasters. Now, not so much. But today is a good day. I'm headed to San Antonio, Texas to show Blaire where I attended Capernwray Bible School way back when I first got out of high school. With graduation in one year, Blaire is also looking to attend the same school ( or maybe another location). Either way I'm happy to get up early and take her around a wonderful city and who's kidding who we both want to feel the heat. I'm coming out of a little winter hibernation period. I have been experiencing knee pain so my exercise gene has been non existent. I've been binge watching stupid shows and eating lots of chocolate ( why can't Valentine's Day and Easter fall on our warmer months). But a lack of discipline is just one thing that has gotten me down this winter. When the flu hit our family I felt visiting anyone was not a good idea. We didn't entertain and I didn't drive home to visit family. I just consoled myself with some truffles and traded in my real life for one that involved living in crisis and high energy relationships because I was a doctor working in life or death situations in Seattle. ( yeah, you know what I'm talking about). So after the constant knocking on my bedroom door and demands of making dinner I woke up and quit the binge watching cold turkey. I started to cook for friends and entertained Zoe's class for Easter and began to run outside again. This trip today has me getting back to reality. I checked out but meanwhile my girls were growing up in front of me and needed me to be engaged. I'm more involved with people who are in my every day life. Easter was instrumental in opening my eyes to God's fresh start He has for me. (And just when you thought I was diverting from where I started this mornings thought ... Wait for it..) I'm overwhelmed by how God works in our lives. Taking this trip with Blaire is somewhat of a new start. She has her whole life ahead of her and my prayer is she allows God to guide her. It certainly is a good life. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-51381123804406461462015-02-14T08:33:00.001-08:002015-02-14T08:33:42.379-08:00What's Valentines Day Should Be Like<span style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">February 14 conjures up so much emotion. If you've been hurt or not on the receiving end of getting a Valentine this day you might pretend it doesn't exist. You might be someone who tends to hold the bar unrealistically high and get disappointed when you don't get jewelry every year or your favorite chocolates and flowers. In high school we used to sell Hershey kisses or carnations for student council and I didn't hold my breath to see if I would get one. Got to say, that growing up my dad wasn't the most romantic guy. He would forget to call when he would be home late and forget birthdays and the words 'I love you' were far from his lips but never far from his heart. But he fell for the cheesy, giant, long winded Valentine cards with red velvet and mushy sayings for my mother every year. He would buy the box of chocolates that are conveniently displayed by the door of S</span><span style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">hoppers Drug Mart (the Canadian version of Walgreens and CVS, but way better); the stores that gives no guy any excuse for forgetting this day. I remember the couple of times my dad went all out and brought home Valentines for all his girls too (heck the poor guy had four daughters to contend with) However, my point is, he always acknowledged Valentine's Day. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">I'm sad that married couples and dating couples downplay this opportunity to display a special token of love. February 14 comes at the perfect time of year in my opinion. We just made it through the January Blues (especially in snowy winter states) There's not much coming up until the warmer weather peaks in about April - if we're lucky - and Groundhog Day usually disappoints. So we need a special day in February. Maybe you write a poem, or make a homemade breakfast or go out for a special dinner using a Christmas gift card. No money for a card? Go to the card section at any store with your Valentine and pick out the perfect sentiment, give it to them to read in the aisle and laugh or cry and put it back. Scott and I used to do that for years. It's not necessarily about money or affection but effort. I've made the heart shape cut out toast with eggs for breakfast in bed and planned the surprise date where Scott just has to show up. We've gone to a rodeo, had heart shaped pizza and the stay at home movie night. Just trying to be creative for 25 years. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Yesterday we celebrated Valentine's Day. Got a babysitter and went to our favorite restaurant and chose a movie we thought we would both like. We arrived home at 10 pm to find a flood in the basement. Switch gears. Lovely night out with my husband but now saving some boxes that were piled up around the furnace and are getting soaked. My precious books got wet and I'm freaking out to save them. Scott grabs his tools and shuts the water off and pulls apart the broken pipe. We move boxes, mop up the floor and we both count our blessings that it wasn't flooding long enough to creep into our newly finished, carpeted basement. We laugh at how Valentine's Day just became a regular day of hanging out, exchanging loveable words and lustful looks ( at each other of course) and go to bed quite happy with another Valentine's Day surrounded by loved ones. Showing love to friends and neighbors and my kids was all apart of the Valentine spirit. I got up early this morning to make my kids their favorite muffins and present them with cheesy Valentine trinkets (sister love plastic cups and heart rubber duckies). They know this mom shows love by giving gifts. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">I love the example we have of how Gods love endures forever. He's a loving God that proves his love in big and small ways. Sometimes He gives us what we ask for but I like it when He surprises me with more than what I could have thought to ask for. I hope you get a new love for this day we call Valentine's Day. Make it special for others. You are loved and appreciated more than you know. Happy Valentine's Day! </span><br />
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We love because He first loved us 1 John 4:19. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-19872431330616728142015-01-28T08:21:00.000-08:002015-01-28T08:21:15.712-08:00Michael Bouchard's cold, oil issues and other wonderful things on FB that got me distracted today. <br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">That title just got some first timers to check out my blog. Normally I write about my five year old or adoption or running. But creeping on Facebook sounds way more appealing today. Welcome! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">So you are well aware that if you are on Facebook</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"> you are available to the world. Sounds so creepy yet we all stay on this crazy ride. Not sure what I would have done growing up with this device. I know I wouldn't have had an iphone as a teen because I would have had to pay for it myself and since we never owned a VHS machine (or that other one no one had... What was it called again????? Oh ya, B</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">eta) we probably wouldn't have had a computer either. But now as a 44 year old, stay at home mom, I get my kicks out of seeing who I can be connected with in an instant. Besides keeping up with my cousin's daily dog escapades in Scotland and finding out what family member just had surgery I get to find out what complete strangers are up to. It can't be creeping if you comment on a 'friends' page and it pops up in my FB feed for the day. Now, with all this time consuming FB, I have a rule that I have to read the Bible before I sit down and click on FB on my phone in the morning. It's a good rule, however, today something inside me said 'it will just take a second. Wish someone a happy birthday and get off'. Easy! Not this morning. Michael Bouchard's post popped up first. My usual rule to friend someone is that we have to actually meet face to face at some point in my life. Michael and I are tight. He's twenty something, single and we worked together at church a while back. See? Tight. Today Michael is sick. I said a prayer, and then kept reading about his plight over the ever popular hot topic of essential oils. Like Michael, I too am a skeptic. To be honest, I actually want it to be way easier like someone order stuff for me and I'll pay them but that's neither here nor there. When someone has 21 comments on a fun post I like to read up (research if you will) on what everyone has to say. You get your friends who like to joke and say funny embarrassing things about the topic. Then you get your 'I tried that and it worked' helpful posts. Then you get your two essential oil company rivals spout out 'the oils that are best and what they can cure' banter going on. This led me to remember the names of people I have to personally message about oils later and then, if you're lucky, you get that link to a funny blog. Here we go! That moment I wish I read my Bible first. The moment that makes me start my day late and then I neglect to read the Bible at all. The moment that makes my five year old exasperated because I'm on my phone when she wakes up. Oops. But I did come across a very funny blog. That doesn't go over well with Zoe. In this blog a lady is ranting about how germy Doctor's offices are and during cold season when you bring your sick child in for help they are usually back in the said Doctor's office in three days with another sickness they caught by being in there in the first place. 'Well played' she comments. This made me crack up, sign up for her blogs and buy her book. Too funny. Facebook is fascinating. It finds me creeping in every day to see what 'friends' are up to and find out what everyones weather is like and what our adorable kids are up to. I dump photos of vacations and funny things Zoe says. The year 2014 added a new dynamic and now my husband has joined the ranks of facebook. So now at dinner when I say, 'did you see the video that was posted about.." and he replies yes!. We have nothing to share. Well, good thing I have that new book coming in the mail. It will cheer me up and keep me off FB for a few days. I hope no one has a baby or gets sick while I'm gone. Before I forget here's the link to the better blog you should read today. You're welcome. </span></span><br />
<a href="http://www.unexpected.org/2015/01/coffeecrumbs-mention-oils-will-punch-face/">Coffee+Crumbs: If Any of You Mention Oils, I Will Punch You i…</a><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-62529779995179267352014-12-31T05:15:00.000-08:002014-12-31T05:18:39.618-08:00Not Your Typical New Year's Resolution I like celebrating New Year's. I like making New Year's resolutions. I think because I like new beginnings. Now at my age, I like to reflect back and take stock of my life. 2014 was a year of travel for me. I think March was the only month I didn't go away somewhere. I traveled with family, with friends, with my parents and even once just with Zoe. I saw new sights, I revisited old places and I experienced new things. This is definitely a year to remember! Back in 2012, I began this blog to mainly break out of my comfort zone and share what's going on in my head, open up about my mistakes, and to share teaching moments. I called it "Your journey matters" and originally thought it would be more about my adoption journey. I love the places I've been to, and funny enough I even enjoy the packing and unpacking. But the day to day journey is reality. I've always struggled with what my purpose here on earth is. How can God use me? I usually think of big things. Some big job He has for me. Something other than motherhood or being a homemaker. It's a woman thing I guess. Then I found myself peeking into 2015. Switzerland? Hawaii? No, the reality journey. I read my devotion to find these words.<br />
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<i>Marvel at the beauty of a life intertwined with My (Jesus) Presence. Rejoice as we journey together in intimate communion. Enjoy the adventure of finding yourself through losing yourself in Me. </i><br />
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Whoa! Sadly, that's what I've been missing in 2014. A more intimate communion with God. Finding out what that looks like will likely take a few more blogs, but I'm pretty sure it means reading His word. The Bible. I teach it to kids at church, I teach it to Zoe and my older two kids and I've shared it with people who needed it. But I lack the humble accounts with my Lord and Savior. This is not to make me feel better, or a magic formula for a safe life. It's what He asks of me. <br />
So 2015 will be another journey for Bev Clode. I'm ready to buckle up, look up from my phone and engage in other's lives. I want to look out the window and marvel at where God will take me. Maybe I blog about it or maybe keep it to myself. Either way my prayer is that this time next year I will be changed. Who's with me?<br />
Happy New Year!<br />
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<u>2015 Theme Verse;</u><br />
<b>John 15:4</b><br />
<b>Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. </b><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">A Quote from Dr. Seuss;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">“Congratulations!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Today is your day.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">You're off to Great Places!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">You're off and away!” </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-59954644273264645902014-12-15T07:17:00.001-08:002014-12-15T07:17:49.198-08:00Button pressed momentsThat button pressed moment! Come on, we all have them. We don't wake up in the morning and say 'I'm going to be grumpy with my kids today'. We all have good intentions (granted these little ones weren't the cause of our interrupted sleep) and we set out to be patient and loving (granted they woke up dry and you don't have to clean up anything right off the bat). I'm kidding - a little. We want to see those sleepy happy faces to put a smile on our face. Seriously though, Zoe is one happy morning kid. She announces when she's dry and she has been looking forward to waking to her 'book a day' event counting down to Christmas Day. How can I be grumpy with her? Well, it happens. This Saturday I wanted to squeeze in a few errands before her weekend swim lesson. I was joyful when she asked for more fruit with her waffles. I freely gave her a drink on command and I even had on cheery Christmas music. She asked for more syrup and I was patient when she dripped on her pjs, and when blueberries fell to the floor. Now it was my time. I'm getting errands done. Errand number 1; run into a store and return something. Easy. No looking around (it's a small store) and we were early enough to beat the Christmas traffic. I pull into the parking lot and my perceptive girl groans 'not shopping'! BUTTON PUSHED! 'Are you kidding me?', I snapped. I go around to her door and clearly annoyed I say, 'get out and come with me'. A young lady is also in the parking lot and glares at me. Oh she overheard my raised voice. You know the stare that judges your every parental decision. I look back and fake smile. All is fine over here, thank you very much. We walk into the store and Zoe knows not to touch or say anything. We are literally three minutes and now I'm a little more joyfilled again. Still feeling guilty though because Zoe isn't talking to me and she clearly doesn't know why I got angry with her. Why do I do this daily? Its training and teaching and disciplining all day long. It's not that I don't feel appreciated. It's sometimes that I don't hear enough thank yous. But I know now, having two teenagers, that you get those later in life. I know I've been guilty of dishing out the judging stare at the mom that is snapping at her kids in a high pressure situation. I just want to show grace in this moment. I don't know what she's dealing with. I don't know her daily struggles. I just walked into her 'button pressed moment' and I should leave it at that. Grace! A glance and a smile that says 'this moment too shall pass and it will all work out'. Maybe being a seasoned mother now, these moments don't give me as much guilt as they did back when the other kids were little. I still hate it when Dr. Jekyll comes out with little warning but at least with a cheerful 5 year old that just wants to hang with mom I can smile and count my blessings at the end of the day. Christmas stress be gone. I would love to say if we start our day with a prayer and reading of the Bible this won't happen. Not true, however, when God's word is in our hearts it will pop up to remind ourselves for correction. This little gem popped up two minutes after I finished jotting down my thoughts for this blog. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!<br />
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Isaiah 50:4<br />
The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-51794285897961711952014-07-16T13:17:00.001-07:002014-07-16T13:17:24.798-07:00Summer BluesI'm feeling a little guilty these days. Ok, a lot guilty! I want school to start back today! Now, remember I was a homeschooling mom so my kids were with me all the time. I don't remember feeling like this back then. My kids talked a lot which can be exhausting and I don't remember TV being a summer option to pass the time. They did have each other but I also recall Blaire never joining Jacob with his Lego creations and Jacob never dressing up Blaire's American Girl dolls so they must have learned how to play alone. I know all kids are different but I'm 44! It's young when I want it to be but with a toddler? Not so much. I'm in a world with teens that drive, work and have extracurricular activities that keep them from being in the home more than two hours during my waking existence. My days seem to last longer than 24 hours. Is that even possible? As you can guess, I'm referring to my one and only, lovable little four year old. Zoe is a laugh all day. I picked her up from Princess Camp (yes, this is a thing) and she asked me what I did when I was all by myself. I told her today I went to the bookstore and she says, "without me?" Like I can't possibly do fun things without her. She is such a lovable kid that I wish I could change my love language to words of affirmation or touch because that's all she dishing out to this mom. Too soon to ask her for a gift to really show me love? I think I work better with a routine. Let me rephrase that; I know I do but summer is the opposite of rigid and routine. I could do without this laid back attitude the world has enforced during the months of June, July and August! I have Zoe in two VBS programs and was elated to see another one pop up down the street. That one is in the evening but I'll take it. Yes, she's learning about God but I am the happiest mom dropping her off. I used to loathe moms like me back in the day. I was the VBS coordinator and all moms should do their duty and serve! LOL! Now this should make me feel guilty, right? Convicted, maybe? Nope! I got nothing. Literally, nothing to give. I'm tapped out. So, I look forward to VBS, then a family camping trip, followed by two more weeks of VBS and a trip without kids then glorious Labor Day. I can't tell you exactly how many days that is but I know we will be back to school shopping soon to make it feel sooner! Aww summer!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-46232691447103492632014-05-08T12:10:00.000-07:002014-05-08T12:12:37.606-07:00A Mother's work is never doneI love to bird watch! There, I said it! This shows my age and quite possibly gives away what I do with my time. I watch them build their nests, I watch them perch in their nests and I love how the male and female work tirelessly to feed their babies until they fly away all independent like. Now I'm feeling very insignificant. Do I work that tirelessly for my family?<br />
We are entering a weekend where kids make you great cards and say endearing things about their mother. I love it. Sometimes it's forced (Scott has to remind them) and other times they are so candid. I came across a letter the other day that was typed out and listed the jobs I do to make this child's life better. Making lunches, doing their laundry, being their personal chauffeur. Everything I really love doing. I've been a housewife for 22 years. I always wanted to be a housewife that is industrious, disciplined, creative, and I strive to be make our house comfortable.<br />
I glance out the window and watch these two robins swoop in to feed their babies. This nest has been created and added to for about 5 years. Both the dad and mom feed the babies about 35-40 times a day (I googled that) and they work together. I have watched the babies in past years fly away for the first time and both parents feed them and stay close to make sure they are doing alright.<br />
I'm glad Mother's Day lands on a Sunday when Jacob is home from college and I get to celebrate with all three of my children. I love that they get along, love to try new things and have experienced a lot in their short lives. I love getting a 'birds eye view' of their growth and happy to take care of their needs while they are living in my 'nest'. This same weekend we are celebrating our 22nd anniversary and Scott's 44th birthday. His mother, Margaret, got to celebrate Mother's Day in the hospital giving birth to her second child. Although, Margaret isn't with us anymore I know she was a fantastic mother. She raised such a great boy who respected his elders and became smart, responsible and grew to love God because of her influence. A mother's love is a strong thing and I don't want to take it for granted. I'm thankful I have the best job ever! <br />
The robin mama is done feeding at the moment and now sitting on her babies, keeping them safe and warm. Man, would I love to keep my babies home .... like forever! Not! I really do enjoy every stage my kids grow into. I loved them at age two (the baby stage was not my favorite) at 6, at 10, even entering their sassy teen years. I love them when they don't want to talk to me and welcome them when they do. I can't wait to see them as parents one day and will enjoy being a grandma (like when I'm 60). Parenting is hard work but so rewarding. A shout out to my mom who gave me confidence and security in knowing who I am. My mom made me tough and even though she wants me to slow down now in life, she always supported my athletic endeavors. I want to be a Grandma like her who loves her 14 grand kids and says silly things and gets away with it. Me at 80 folks. But on this Mothers Day I must remember Zoe's birth mom. I'm sure not a day goes by that she doesn't think of Zoe. I owe her so much but I'm the one who gets to marvel at how much she has grown and learned. I get to laugh at her knock knock jokes and beam as she wakes up dry without pull ups on in the morning. It's an amazing gift to raise all three children and I don't want to take that for granted. May Zoe's birth mom have peace about her decision and love on her other children who help her with daily life.<br />
The mama robin sits back down after another feeding. She seems content and on guard for another day of protection. In the book of Matthew, Jesus is talking about worrying and how it doesn't add any time to our life if we do it. He reminds us about how much God cares for the birds.<br />
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Matthew 6:26 <span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="versenum" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.</span><span class="crossreference" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23309AD" title="See cross-reference AD">AD</a>)"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Are you not much more valuable than they?</span></span><br />
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It has been thirty years since I've known Scott Clode, twenty-two years of being his wife, and almost 19 years of being a mom and love overwhelms me right now. How cool that we all have a purpose here on earth. I want to take that attitude into all I do. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-27104752022159946852014-04-02T06:43:00.000-07:002014-04-02T06:47:00.441-07:00Drifting Off To My Happy Place'Take me to my happy place' was the recurring theme throughout our 'experience' at the salon yesterday. Usually going to the salon is relaxing. I personally get my hair done in my neighbor's home salon and always have a very enjoyable time chatting and getting caught up. Well, this wasn't for me and it was a new place I thought we could try to get Zoe's hair braided for vacation. Up until now, I have washed and styled my daughter's hair. I'm no expert. Even with Blaire's hair I never learned to braid any fancy style. Well, Zoe's hair is different. I love reading about other friends on Facebook who are going through the same thing with their adopted children. Success stories and shameless photos of the finished product is always encouraging. However, the beautiful end result comes with sweat and tears. I thought if I went to a salon and had someone who had experience with braiding African American hair we could be done with little pain. Zoe cries at the mention of getting her hair done. If I tell her it's bath time she always asks, 'and hair?' She's relieved when I reply that it's just a bath, no hair. Yesterday, I had to take her braids out first before we got in the car and drove 25 mins away. I could tell she didn't like this unknown destination and kept telling me she's scared. (a break your heart moment right?) The young lady, ready to conquer the task, has been doing her siblings' hair since she was 12. She wasn't overly talkative but with mom standing in front of Zoe, holding an iPad and feeding her snacks, we tried to bear through it. The lady at the front desk interrupted us after 15 mins and told me if she continues to cry we will have to leave. Stress factor #1. This young girl started out doing the design I wanted (that was really simple) but ended up with 15 braids - and that was just the top part of her head! Stress factor #2! Doesn't she realize taking these braids out is just as stressful? I was wishing to melt away to my happy place. Someplace warm, of course. A place where I have no responsibilities and certainly not a place where people are interrupting my peace. Back to the salon, another lady comes over to try and console Zoe by telling her she needs to be a big girl and not cry. More women kept trying to offer a better snack - like that's the issue. Yes, it distracted her for a second but only made me sweat more. I wanted to walk out. Have you ever been at the grocery store with young kids and they're crying and people walk by and offer their advice on why they are crying? 'Oh, it must be nap time'. No, they are just having a temper tantrum because I told them no candy! Another lady in the salon, told me she is stressing out! Zoe is stressing out! (understatement) Do you want to see stressing out? How about the time when I first put Zoe in the bath. She probably got washed down in a bucket with cold water outside of the orphanage. No bathtubs there. How about the time I got her to sit in the tub. That was stressful. When I watched a nanny braid her hair in the orphanage and even when we first got her home and we offered up TV and every piece of candy we had. Nope! Zoe's hair is thick and curly. It's beautiful and I love it and I am learning with every hair wash and new style we try to ease up on the tangles. I keep trying new products because there has to be a miracle cream and conditioner. Zoe has come such a long way! We celebrate one year on April 12. Her Gotcha Day! My next blog will list all the new challenges she has overcome and experiences this 4 year old has achieved in one short year. But this hair thing is definitely a lifelong one. I know she will grow up to appreciate her hair and what we go through (please God).<br />
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Three hours and 23 braids later we have the best hair style yet. But I won't be rushing back. I learned from this girl and bought a few tools to help me in the future. This will have to continue to be a private experience so Zoe feels comfortable, so people don't see me sweat and to keep the cost down. Everyone comments on how cute her fro looks when it's just full and she has a great bow or headband in. And then every African American tells me, don't do it! It dries out so quickly and more traumatic to brush out the next day. Thankfully these hair styles last between 2-3 weeks so we all get a break. Applaud moms with young children who spend a couple of hours on their girl's hair. Drifting off to my happy place is fine but this is reality. I'm not skilled but I try and trying to eliminate the tears - mostly mine. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-52499698338542849542014-03-09T15:39:00.000-07:002014-03-09T15:39:12.634-07:00Live in the moment you are inI have been practicing yoga almost every week since October. I'm open-minded. I've read Eat Pray Love. I don't give into bettering self and believing in 'a higher power'. I personally give that 'higher power' a name and so I can think on such thoughts. We typically attend church on Saturday nights so Sunday mornings are available to attend yoga. Now, whatever ideas you have about yoga, until you actual go to a class and enjoy the instructor, you should give it another try. "The word guru is composed of two Sanskrit syllables. The first means 'darkness', the second means 'light'. Out of darkness and into the light" page 123 of Eat Pray Love. I know this is Hindu but again I relate the light to be Jesus. <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Geneva, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 17px;">We are to put on Christ and take off ourselves.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Geneva, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 17px;"> Matthew 5. </span> Today's class was so fitting. I am currently listening to God as a recurring theme keeps popping up daily. 'Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.'<br />
I don't get caught up in everything this instructor shares but today she says to the class 'live in the moment you are in now'. I relate it to what God says in His word. <br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Matthew 6:34 (</span>NIV<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">) Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.</span><br />
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Then she says, "Don't concentrate on the music. It's a distraction and just look into yourself." What? She does not know me one bit! Music is everything to me. It changes my thinking, my mood, my actions. Music moves me to run, laugh, cry. Every week I ask this instructor the name of a song she played so I can go straight to my itunes store and purchase it. Today that song was Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson. I'm sitting cross legged with my palms open and resting on my knees. A posture I find myself sitting in more and more in my free time. A posture my pastor just asked us to practice in his sermon last night. A posture that says, 'God I surrender'. Now one tear streams down my cheek and in the next 5 minutes I'm glad the room is dark and I'm in the front row and we are instructed to close our eyes. It's just me and God in this moment and he gently reminds me of when He has carried me in my life. He carried me through high school, through my 22 years of marriage, through my dad's cancer, through our adoption process, to name a few. He is faithful so why do I doubt? All we can do is keep breathing. <br />
Later in the class, while in child's pose, she plays Dare You To Move by Switchfoot. I smile again and even lip sync to the song. Again thankful for the darkened room and praising God a song about Salvation is playing on this fine Sunday morning. Yoga is awesome! Then a final song comes on while in a 'sleeping' pose and it's country. AHHH! I hate country with all my being but yoga is the opposite of hate and I pray to relax and NOT concentrate on the song. I finally find myself relaxing and not worrying or thinking of anything. This hour did the trick. I'm ready to take on the world again (for at least another week). The instructor talks about taking your practice into everyday life. So when someone cuts you off in the parking lot don't give into anger and reciprocate the action. Breathe. I finish a very satisfying hour and glad Scott joined me as he does most weeks. I roll up my mat (yes I'm a real yogi and have my own mat) and leave to get Zoe from the child care center. I'm thrilled to see she ventured into the climbing maze with tunnels and slides. This is new for her. But when she looks into my eyes and hears me calling for her to come down she decides to go further away. She climbs higher and stares at me. Ooohhh! She doesn't know I'm not beyond climbing up to get her out myself. I've been known to jump into germ invested ball pits, that used to amuse the kids at McDonald's, to retrieve my child a time or two. Breathe! She finally submits to my firm calling and instead of laying into her, I uncross my arms and tell her I'm so excited she tried something new. I then had to insist she use the potty before we leave and she refused and my temperature begins to rise. I know I'm reaping from a late night and the loss of the dreaded Daylight Savings hour. She has the gall to ask for a cookie and I promptly say no and she cries. So I'm exiting the gym, passing by the once peaceful room I so enjoyed moments ago and go about my normal life. God help me! True story.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-83521199820873429422014-02-22T06:16:00.000-08:002014-02-22T06:21:50.925-08:00Raising kidsIt was so great to hang out with all my kids yesterday. Jacob and Blaire always get along and hearing Zoe squeal from the back seat, 'Are we at Jacob's school yet'? just amazes me what has transpired in the last 10 months. I remember back when we first introduced the idea of adoption to the kids. They were settled with life as it was. At the time, Jacob wasn't a fan of change, and so we were in the car talking about raising kids and I told him we were thinking about adoption. I remember his reaction was, 'no, no, no'! I told him to pray about it. He was 13 and I knew he would. We had just moved him from his old neighborhood and school that he was very comfortable in. We moved churches as well and he seemed to always be in a new environment. We prayerfully made all those moves and this was no exception. Blaire just wanted a sister so she was on board. Two weeks later Jacob said he prayed and we should adopt. Who knew at that time, across the globe, a little girl was born and her father had died around this time. Her mother struggled to feed her kids and who knows who put the idea of relinquishing her rights in her head but I'm sure it wasn't an easy and quick decision by any means. That same girl is upset with Jacob four hours later when we have to say goodbye and leave him at college. Today is just a quick lunch visit and she folds her arms in protest but kisses her brother and doesn't understand that he will be home for a break in 6 days. It makes me cry to see the love that has formed between these two. Even the look on Blaire's face when she comes home from school every day to get a hug from her new sister. It doesn't seem so new anymore. Its regular life in the Clode household. I think back to some things I tried to instill in my kids growing up.<br />
1. Home is a safe place. There was no tolerance for sibling rivalry. They were to respect one another and not call each other names. 'Stupid' was banned from our vocabulary to the point of when I read a book with that word in it I would say 'silly'. It was hard for me to hear Scott read that same book and he didn't get the word change 'memo'. LOL. The kids are friends now and I believe Zoe feels safe here. We can't control how people treat us in the world so I put up boundaries in our home.<br />
2. God became apart of our everyday life. I remember getting Jacob dressed for church on a Sunday morning in his suit and tie. He was 6 years old and he yelled out he hated going to church and he didn't want to go. My heart sank and I felt like I failed as a mother. We decided that making him was the answer that day but we also didn't make church the only time he heard about God. Our kids began to see that worshiping Jesus can be done around the dinner table, through our conversation, or in the car when we can sing to Him. We began to see that our clothes and when we attended church wasn't the issue. Prayerfully our kids got to see God work in their lives and I think our whole adoption story has changed their lives forever.<br />
3. Our kids aren't the center of our family. Let me explain. I believe God has created marriage forever. Scott and I were married for three years before Jacob came along. Having a baby didn't come between Scott and I. Literally, he didn't sleep between us in our bed. He needed to respect Daddy and Mommy time and we left him with babysitters and went on vacation once in a while without him ( and Blaire when she came along). I believe in kids seeing their parents be in control and not the other way around. This was demonstrated to Zoe day 1. She would flip out about a lot of things and of course we had to allow her time to feel acclimated and comfortable and safe. But she never slept in our bed and I stood my ground on how she was treating all of us when she wanted her way. To make her feel apart of this family I only knew to treat her like the others. That's why I think she fits in so well. She officially was named Zoe Ayame Clode on Jan.7, 2014. She goes to preschool, loves singing about Jesus, and loves hanging out with our family and friends. She gets upset when she has to share her toys because she's four. She is a great eater and knows she has to stay in her seat in a restaurant. She is learning to dress herself and make her bed. I'm a mother of three and I'm so proud of all of them. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-56326557230016322542014-02-04T03:12:00.000-08:002014-02-04T03:51:10.487-08:00celebrating the little thingsSo it's February and I didn't even get a post written in January. Wow! What have I been doing since I rang in the year 2014? Well, if you are a mom of kids under 10 you understand what happened. You got back into a routine that doesn't allow time for sitting down and recording the events of your life. The ball dropped in New York on January 1 and it was like I heard a gun go off simultaneously in my head. 'And we're off ', someone yelled and I began running. Back to preschool, packed for a trip, flew my parents and Zoe to Florida for 6 days, went to court to officially change Zoe's name, endured 7 snow days, attended a family birthday party in Canada and was privileged enough to get away for two days to scrapbook. Oh ya, that's what I did in January. Back up to a pretty significant event in Zoe's life - getting on a plane for the first time since we flew home from Ethiopia NINE MONTHS ago! I cannot believe it has been that long. Zoe got a zebra print, rolling suitcase for Christmas and we told her we were going to visit Aunt Cheryl in Florida and go on a plane. Her expression changed and she ran out of the room. Scott and I followed her and we found her crying on her bed. Scott, the compassionate one, hugged her and asked her why she was crying. We figured out that she was worried about me taking her on a plane. The last time she remembers that big event was me taking her from her birthplace and bringing her 'home'. Poor thing felt like we were taking her back to Ethiopia? After I hugged her and talked up the big trip to Florida she was fine. And when I say fine, I mean she didn't get sad about it again. Even on the morning we left and drove an agonizing three hours to the airport through the worst snowy roads I've driven on and had a 'home alone' experience to get to our gate on time with two 80 year olds and a toddler, she didn't get upset again. Take off and landing was an amazing experience (when mommy pulled out homemade banana muffins to snack on and games to play). Never a dull moment. Throw in a momentous occasion on January 7th. Standing in court for 45 minutes to hear our name called and officially get paperwork for Zoe to be Zoe Ayame Clode. Then one morning last week I received a CD I requested from the agency of all the pictures they had of Zoe in the time she was at the orphanage. We looked at it together and she laughs. We watch videos of her speaking another language and I think about when we can explain how this, how she, has changed our lives. She's the reason I get my snow pants on and bundle up to play in our winter wonderland out back. She's the reason I sing about 6 little ducks, and the itsy bitsy spider and shop at Gymboree more than any other store these days. We celebrate dry pull ups in the morning and empty cereal bowls and when we can change her hair barrettes without fussing. What will you celebrate today, this week, this month? Share with me. Write it down. Stick it to your mirror. Enjoy February 2014.<br />
This is spoken so strongly to me in Hebrews 10:23-24 in the Message Bible<br />
Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps His word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out...<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-13682017910544435522013-12-31T04:45:00.000-08:002013-12-31T04:46:47.639-08:00Final thoughts for 2013Its the day before I take down my Christmas Tree and this usually makes me a little sad. A few mornings I've awakened early to sit in silence and stare at the lit up tree and marvel at this past year. The tree had wrapped gifts under it just a few days ago and Zoe was about to embark on a new Christmas experience. She had never unwrapped a gift with her name on it before. Last year I recall being apart of purchasing a goat for her orphanage to eat a decent meal, brought to them by my friend Melissa who lived there (and was Zoe's guardian angel until we could bring her home.) Zoe has experienced so much in just 8 months and has taken it all in stride. Even just in the last 30 days she has been on a snowmobile, visited Santa, made snow angels and snowmen, skated - and did amazing I might add. She has discovered that candy canes are 'too hot' and that when the 'Forbes' family get together its very loud. She received the first gift she asked for which was a piggy bank and has been a social butterfly at many parties and gatherings. One of my most special memories has been watching her experience our church Christmas service. There was music and dancing (which caused her to hold her hands to her ears in protest) but when the candlelight part started, things calmed down and she needed two hands to hold her very own candle. I lost it. I cried like a baby and couldn't take my eyes off her. She has her beautiful red and silver American Girl dress on. Yes, she is an American girl. She is sitting on a friend's lap and is so comfortable. Not sure what she is taking in. Not sure if she understands what all this represents. My tears are full of joy. I sit in church and the last 8 months blur through my mind. I picture when we first met. I picture her waking up next to me for the first time in Ethiopia. I picture her eating pizza and hamburgers for the first time and speaking english as she repeated after me. She can sing her alphabet, remember people's names, can write her own name and dress herself. She's potty trained and healthy and she's safe with us! All this flashes through my mind in church. The very place where I felt God nudge me to get on board to sign up to adopt. He had Zoe picked out just for us before she was born. God has a journey planned out for you and me. Like a marathon, it's long, sometimes difficult but mostly exhilarating. Christmas for me in 2013 was exhilarating. I want to leave you with a quote from a very profound book - ya, because I read profound books. <br />
<br />
Dr. Seuss - Oh, The Places You'll Go<br />
Oh the places you'll go,<br />
Today is your day!<br />
Your mountain is waiting,<br />
So....get on your way!<br />
<br />
The Clodes have climbed a mountain in 2013. I am excited about ringing in 2014 and I may write about a few things going on. Zoe is my new favorite topic. I'll leave you with some good advice she left Scott with one day before he left the house. She kissed him goodbye and yelled out the door; 'Bye Daddy, have a good day and don't pee your pants'. Happy New Year!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-82191014490570563842013-12-05T12:43:00.000-08:002013-12-05T12:43:33.437-08:00Looking Through Zoe-Colored GlassesThe other day Scott told me that every time he sees Zoe it makes him smile. I asked him if after 21 years of marriage I do that for him ...no, I didn't say that out loud but it made me consider if I have taken having this little four year old around for granted. It has been 7 months since we brought Zoe to her new world and the holidays have been a blast. We have photographed all her firsts; first snowfall, first Thanksgiving, and everything about Christmas is a first! Two weeks ago we decided to bring Zoe to meet Santa at the mall on a lonely Friday night. No line! We told her about Santa and him bringing her presents on Christmas morning one minute before she laid eyes on the jolly old guy. Her eyes lit up and because both Scott and I were living in the moment we don't have a video of it - I know how terrible. However, as per usual, Zoe was very welcoming and friendly and sat on this Santa's lap like she had known him forever. He looked into her eyes and asked her what she wanted for Christmas. She was speechless and I informed him that this was Zoe's first Christmas. His expression was precious and he asked where she was from. He talked about toys and princesses and this was a language she already knew. We got a picture package, of course, and Santa spoke to us some more while Zoe explored the make-shift North Pole. There was no 'I wants' and she was given a stuffed penquin and skipped down the ramp. I'm not sure what was going through her mind. Then the other day, while driving in the car, I broke my rule and turned on Christmas music a few days before December 1st. Jingle Bell Rock came on and I looked over my shoulder and said, 'Zoe, this is the first time you have heard Jingle Bell Rock!' Then Elvis' Blue Christmas came on and I said, 'Zoe, this is the first time you are listening to Blue Christmas!' Do you get that excited about Christmas anymore? We drive through the neighborhood and she sees houses lit up and cheers. She was so fun to have around while we got out her first ornament to put on the tree and listen to my Hallmark musical animals over and over. I got emotional when I took out her stocking with her name on it that I purchased two Christmas' ago. We thought she was coming so much sooner. I don't want to miss any new wonder with Zoe this year. She can't wait to make a snowman and go sledding and skating. I also don't want to shower her with so much that we forget to remember why we celebrate Christmas. Jesus entered this world in a very lowly state. In a humble stable yet the Son of God. I sing Away in A Manger every night to Zoe now. She is accepting to talk about Jesus. She is learning about him at preschool and church and I hope she continues to wonder about Him. I challenge you to see Christmas through Zoe-colored glasses. What wonder does God want to show you this season and into the year 2014? Merry Christmas!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-46391792050479328492013-09-22T18:30:00.000-07:002013-09-22T18:30:49.864-07:00Putting Life into PerspectiveLife is a funny thing. When we're down we look for ways to be charged up to carry on another day. If I'm honest I turn to chocolate first! Then I have a devotion that I try to read to lift my spirits, lift my eyes to God who I know has the power to change my perspective and get a better attitude. I signed up for my third marathon back in February and then we found out we were Ethiopian bound in April. We were finally going to meet our daughter and then after a three week stay I was bringing our four year old home to stay. There goes my freedom to run. I started acting like I just gave birth. I was overeating, not sleeping a ton and I didn't feel like doing my training runs at all! Like any mother of young children, you come to a point where you realize you can't do it all and alter your life. This was especially difficult for me since I had teenagers and didn't have children home in the day for years. I liked my routine of volunteering and helping in the schools and church and hanging with friends. I liked my quiet time and freedom to do what I wanted. Now it took all my energy to take care of my daughter's basic needs and get to know her likes and dislikes and teach her english and continue my daily duties I used to do around the house. I've written before about the emotional roller coaster I've been on and don't want to bore you with the tears and frustration dealing with our family changes. Then my perspective changed the day when our adoption agency had a gift for us. A gift we paid for and knew was coming but didn't realize how it would change our lives. Yes, I knew this little girl would change our lives but this gift was a CD of my child's birth mother talking in her language about her life, about the day Zoe was born and about how she wants Zoe to know how much she loves her. Her poverty and hard life hits me! Tears stream down my face and I think about the lyrics of a One Republic song, Stop and Stare;<br />
You start to wonder why you're here not there <br />And you'd give anything to get what's fair <br />
I never want to complain about potty training or dealing with a toddler who doesn't understand the word no because having ice cream for breakfast isn't good for her. I don't want to ever complain about how frustrating these new car seats are and how much longer it takes me to go grocery shopping with a toddler. I mentioned I signed up for the Detroit marathon and now I've succumbed to running a half marathon. I'm good with this. I run with Hope Water Project and this comes with a huge responsibility to educate my friends and family about the issue of the lack of clean water for thousands of people. It really changes your life perspective when you take the time to view a short video of people who live in terrible conditions every day. My daughter just woke up after being put to bed 15 minutes ago. She says I forgot to brush her teeth. 'Silly mommy put Zoe to bed without brushing teeth', Zoe says. We go to the tap and brush her teeth with her Dora tooth brush and fresh clean water. Five short months ago she did not do that! My life perspective has changed! Will you allow yours to be changed too?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-68159849931123213992013-08-14T05:12:00.000-07:002013-08-14T05:12:31.392-07:00Too much stuff going onIf you have been in the habit of keeping a journal or writing a blog you may find yourself writing ideas or capturing events or thoughts in your head and find you never get them recorded. I have done this over and over in the past 3 months. I had been anticipating the biggest change of my life for three years and even though I know God's timing is perfect I wasn't prepared for the biggest emotional state I find myself in more and more. I know God hears me when I cry out to Him and of late its the silent cry. The 'I don't know what I'm doing' cry and then I plod forward through every day. You see I'm a bit of a planner. People don't know that Bev anymore. Sometimes I feel like I'm watching a movie with 'future me' blundering through life and I want to stop and help me out. I wasn't sure what I was doing for Jacob's grad party or what the date was for sure since we didn't know when we would fly off to Ethiopia. When we got called to fly off to meet our daughter I ended up staying to bring her home quicker but left a mess of what we called our spare room and nothing was ready to bring her home. My amazing friends and kids and Scott jumped to the task and got it ready for arrival. Not the way I had planned. See, the planner in me hates that. Is there a support group for us planners? Hi I'm Bev Clode and I plan my kids Halloween costumes a year in advance. I also shop for their birthday theme a year ahead. I can host dinner for 50 guests last minute and have my house clean at the same time. <br />
Wow, that is not me now. Since Nick Jr. is playing most times in our house at this early hour a little show is chanting 'don't think about what you can't do but think about what you CAN do.' Seriously, that should be my new life motto. I have had the most get-togethers in my home since April. Friends greeted us with a mini party when we brought Zoe home. Then we had Jacob's actual graduation and I had family visit. Then his grad party quickly approached and the decorations came together in the final 24 hrs. I had 27 family members over for the weekend for our annual Canada Day celebration on American soil and then sent Blaire off to Haiti for a week. I am supposed to be training for a marathon and have to deal with maybe just running a half and maybe not have it be my best time. (I think I need a support group for this too) We wanted our whole family to fly to Scotland for my cousins wedding but that idea changed and just I was going to go. I wasn't worried, but another big event just the same. Two days ago I landed in Toronto from my amazing 6 days in Scotland, drove home right away and got home at 1 am. Really 6 am Scotland time so I was a little exhausted. But I was hosting Zoe's 4th birthday and had to make her a cake from scratch. I got that made with people helping to decorate the cake and decorate the house and wrap my daughter's gifts and last minute table set up. When someone texts to say 'can I bring anything' or 'let me know what I can do even last minute' I usually think it's super nice but never take the person up on the offer. Well, I had to and it nearly broke me. I stood in my house watching my friends take over my kitchen because I wasn't ready and I cried. Cried uncontrollably. I cried because I felt like I failed. I cried because I was exhausted. I cried because I was overwhelmed by the event of celebrating Zoe turning 4 in her new home and I cried because the last four months have been incredibly busy. I am overloaded with events I want to share on Instagram and Facebook and I realize your news feed is filled of images of Zoe almost daily. Her first plane ride, Her first swim, first time meeting everyone we know, getting her ears pierced, her first trip to Canada, her first beach experience, her first visit to the dentist (I'll post those soon). I'm crying just reminiscing. Zoe has been amazing. She hasn't experienced any emotional adjustment. She sleeps in her own bed, goes with the flow when we go out a lot and even has grown to like the jogger stroller. So getting back to me, I have one more big event to happen. My first born, my only son, is leaving us for college and that might be the biggest event that I haven't really dealt with yet. I think now I can accept it and I can process it and will have to suck it up and not lose it on campus as we move him in. Oh look, Zoe just got her dublo on the bed next to me and my laptop and built a tower all by herself! I have to get my camera. Will post later.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-34817611322838785842013-06-19T06:11:00.000-07:002013-06-19T06:11:37.254-07:00Its a Mom thingI guess this wouldn't be a true blog if I didn't share about the rough days of motherhood. I mean if you read this and consider adoption you have to hear about the good and bad. Also, I love bragging about my daughter and every child gives a mother grief at some point in their life. Yesterday, was one of those days. When you read about bringing home an adopted child its suggested that you should make life simple for at least two months so they adapt to mom and dad and the core family. Well, add in my sister who lives with us, my son's serious girlfriend, and friends that are like family, and you will see Zoe has a lot of people in her life to get used to. God's timing is perfect and she was given to us at a crazy time in the Clode household; birthday month! Every two days in June we are celebrating someone including Father's Day and 2013 is graduation central! Let's just say the Clodes are partying a little more than usual. I think back on the last 7 weeks and recall when Zoe used to fuss about having to wear a dress, now she wants to be in one all day long. In the orphanage they said she loved shoes and for what I saw there was one pair of crocs she had to fight for daily. Well, crocs won't be found in the Clode household but Nike was one of Zoe's first American words. She has about 8 or 9 pairs to choose from. Have I created a three year old Diva? We kind of had a meltdown over what pair to wear yesterday (and when I say we I mean the three year old.) She screams like no other and at this moment she felt the need to hit me. I could feel the pressure to discipline and I have to be 'creative'. My usual is to be separated from this little one so she realizes I'm not giving in nor do I appreciate her screams! I bring her to her room, plunk her on her bed (I'm allowed to plunk, right?) a run to my room. This particular day we had guests and I'm embarrassed. Now, my kids have been fabulous with this little intruder to their life. They love her to death and help out a lot! Blaire runs to calm her down and the next minute I see her happily getting the attention from teenage girls. What more does a three year old need? The issue still stares me in the face. She needs shoes on to go out in the car to drive said teens home. I get her shoes on, she screams again and I try and put a wiggly toddler in the car seat (I hope the neighbors understand) and by the time I drive down the driveway, I'm crying uncontrollably and she's singing her rendition of the alphabet 'ADCD's'. I can't stop crying. I feel like a failure. She doesn't like me. I feel like she's going to cry about getting her hair washed and going to bed and for eating all her food in her bowl before getting a cookie FOREVER! I've let many people put Zoe to bed so I can get a break in the evening but after two weeks of that she doesn't want me to put her to bed anymore. A mother can't live with that kind of rejection! Last night I cancelled belated birthday plans (ME celebrations can wait) and got into Zoe's bedtime routine. She truly is adorable, loving books and singing my bedtime songs and if it takes me a while to sing her to sleep, so be it. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says 'For everything there is a season'; verse 4 -' a time to weep, a time to laugh'; verse 11 - 'He has made everything beautiful in it's time. Also, He has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.' Maybe this is taken out of context but I know this stage will pass. <br />
And so I come to the end of my thoughts and Zoe peeks at me from my bed (seriously, she just woke up) and I smile. I get to share another day with my beautiful daughter and feel so blessed. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-10207172618498264972013-06-09T05:44:00.000-07:002013-06-09T05:44:43.552-07:00I am freed! When you are robbed of your personal possessions it leaves you with a feeling of being violated. Expecting to have a fun day exploring the city with family and friends and coming back to the car to find broken glass next to your car. Its not just in Detroit. This happened 16 years ago in the 'safe' city of Burlington, Ontario. The stolen item? The baby bag! The first time my wallet was sitting right on top of the bag and if they see it, they will come. Well, I did leave a bright red baby bag on the car seat in Detroit but after hearing about other break ins that same day it makes me wonder could it have happened anyway? To the person who had fun breaking into cars on Saturday, May 25; <br />
It was mine and you decided you wanted it. I earned it and someone taught you to believe that has no value to you. You get by in life by taking from others' hard earned money. You decided that you would break my car window and take what you thought was a purse but in fact it was my daughters baby bag. I wish all you found was my daughters favorite book, a hand-me-down outfit, some diapers and wipes but my Canon camera was buried in the bottom of that mess. I just used it days before to capture my son's senior honors night that doesn't have any value to you whatsoever! Luckily, I downloaded my pictures from Ethiopia but feel free to look at them and see poverty worse than your own and maybe it would lead you to grow a conscience. Clearly no one cared to pay attention to you breaking our car window so you took the time to look around and found my purse 'hidden' on the floor of the car. A leather purse that I purchased in Ethiopia,( so, sentimental to me), sunglasses that my kids gave me for my birthday last year and a few family photos throughout my wallet. No cash but just one credit card that you so eagerly ran off with and used at the nearest gas station. It took about two days to give up my worldly possessions and not be upset with you. Until yesterday when I discovered another item you stole from me. An expensive little item tucked away in the change purse of my wallet. Are you an amateur or did you check every crevice of my bag? Did you find the 1/2 caret diamond earring I placed there the day I got a double piercing? No tears anymore. Maybe a little anger but then I had to laugh. See, some of these things can be replaced and the others aren't that important. Not when I think of having my family and friends and the love of God in my life. My relationship with God keeps me sane in times like these. I believe in doing what's right. I believe in eternal life. I believe in the Bible and immediately the verse in Matthew 6:19-20 came to mind; 'Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where theives can break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.' And then in verse 21 it says, 'For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.' Praying you see this to be true one day and repent and God will forgive.<br />
And so I breathe a sigh of relief singing It is Well With My Soul in church last night. I am free indeed!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-65123694029266030892013-05-21T13:31:00.001-07:002013-05-21T13:31:52.378-07:00There's no place like homeIt has been three weeks today since I arrived to Detroit with my Ethiopian daughter. We traveled for over 22 hours and other than a normal three year old episode of not wanting to sit in her seat for landing, she was fantastic. I'm not sure I allowed myself to be truly happy I was coming home until I actually laid eyes on my family at the airport. There was the time that Scott and I decided I would stay in Ethiopia in hopes that we could bring Zoe home sooner. That was an emotional moment. Or the time that we left the orphanage with Zoe in hand. I loved receiving the news that we could speed up our paperwork at the U.S. Embassy when we informed them that my fingerprints were to expire on April 30. The time I got back to my friend, Melissa's, house with Zoe's passport and visa in hand was definitely up there. Sitting on a plane next to a pastor who thanked me for 'saving' one of their own and praying over her while she slept was beautiful. Arriving on U.S. soil in Washington D.C. and seeing a Starbucks was also beautiful. But, I think I let out a huge, long awaited, sigh of relief when I laid eyes on my family at the airport. I felt like I was crossing the finish line of a very long marathon. I handed Zoe to her big brother and fell into Scott's arms and cried! Home at last! My nephew asked me today what Zoe was like on that first day. The whole day was a result of answered prayers. Smooth transition for my baby girl. She took the drive home from the airport like a pro with everyone staring at her. We arrived to about 7 families waiting for us to drive up the balloon lined driveway and she wasn't fazed. She sat around our dinner table like it was a common occurrence and she slept in her twin bed in her beautifully decorated bedroom all night. This girl is 'free', which is what her nanny in Ethiopia said. She laughs, and plays, and makes pretend food and sings the alphabet and waves to everyone she meets. I cry just every so often when I get to rock her to sleep and sing Jesus Loves Me. My baby girl is home.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2078836932926276949.post-6444541596348688762013-04-17T10:47:00.001-07:002013-04-17T10:47:14.742-07:00Got energy - part 2Having a coffee ceremony with popcorn is tradition here. They had special bread/cake prepared for us and Scott, Blaire and I sat on the couch as guests of honor. The brought Zoe down in a traditional white dress and she sat between Blaire and I. The older kids sang songs for us and we all took part in the food. Zoe was as good as gold. Loves the attention that one. I tried not to cry on so many levels. The nannies looked genuinely sad to say goodbye since Zoe has been there almost two years. Also, I was grateful for their care even though I felt like I couldn't get her out of there quick enough. I was sad for the other kids ( especially the ones 6 and older ). What are they thinking? They will miss Zoe but they wait to be adopted and the older ones tend to wait longer. I want to back up two years and sign up for two kids again. Now getting upset that we got persuaded from that effort. Now back to listening to the nannies pray for us as they circle around us and thinking, does Zoe even know what's going on? At some point I think she might want to go back to what she knows as home but watching her today I think she will be well adjusted. A photographer and videographer came to capture the moment and as we say our final goodbyes I walk out the front door with Zoe in my arms. Ducking the hanging clothes in the line I slip through the big, metal from gate. Zoe begins to cry and we think its because of the camera man sticking his camera through the front door of the van. Maybe because she hasn't been through those front gates before and confused as to where she is going. When has she even been in a car. I vote for all of the above and comfort my daughter on my lap. She turns to Scott and grips his hand and shirt. She cries for one minute and then the bumpy ride becomes all too intriguing. The world that flashes by her as we drive is overwhelming I'm sure. Oh Zoe, just wait to see what's waiting for you .....Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00564096029792329703noreply@blogger.com1