Got energy - part 2

Having a coffee ceremony with popcorn is tradition here. They had special bread/cake prepared for us and Scott, Blaire and I sat on the couch as guests of honor. The brought Zoe down in a traditional white dress and she sat between Blaire and I. The older kids sang songs for us and we all took part in the food. Zoe was as good as gold. Loves the attention that one. I tried not to cry on so many levels. The nannies looked genuinely sad to say goodbye since Zoe has been there almost two years. Also, I was grateful for their care even though I felt like I couldn't get her out of there quick enough. I was sad for the other kids ( especially the ones 6 and older ). What are they thinking? They will miss Zoe but they wait to be adopted and the older ones tend to wait longer. I want to back up two years and sign up for two kids again. Now getting upset that we got persuaded from that effort. Now back to listening to the nannies pray for us as they circle around us and thinking, does Zoe even know what's going on? At some point I think she might want to go back to what she knows as home but watching her today I think she will be well adjusted. A photographer and videographer came to capture the moment and as we say our final goodbyes I walk out the front door with Zoe in my arms. Ducking the hanging clothes in the line I slip through the big, metal from gate. Zoe begins to cry and we think its because of the camera man sticking his camera through the front door of the van. Maybe because she hasn't been through those front gates before and confused as to where she is going. When has she even been in a car. I vote for all of the above and comfort my daughter on my lap. She turns to Scott and grips his hand and shirt. She cries for one minute and then the bumpy ride becomes all too intriguing. The world that flashes by her as we drive is overwhelming I'm sure. Oh Zoe, just wait to see what's waiting for you .....

Got energy?

Hey everyone.  Life in Ethiopia with a toddler can be draining. It doesn't help that I have had a cold for the last 6 days. Luckily Zoe is getting over hers. We have gone through a lot of wipes for our noses and I haven't slept much. Running around, talking a lot and changing lots of diapers is a new routine for me. There's too much to write about from day 1 but it was pretty incredible to hear the judge tell us that Zoe was ours. I think I said thank you and jumped up and rushed out of the room just in case they decided to change their minds.  We made a beeline for the orphanage where they prepared a farewell ceremony. I will continue in a second post.

Our first court date

So excited to be writing this blog from the airport. We flew into D.C. last night. Waiting to board Ethiopian Air. We were very surprised to get our first court date so early. A nice bonus after waiting 16 months since our first court date was postponed. Knowing God's got this has really made these months fly by. I wrote about how we had a busy season with Jacob and Blaire in school sports. Even this past week was busy while volunteering at a daycamp with Blaire and others from our church. Again, surrounding myself with kids. They were a joy. Jacob returned safely from his spring break trip and after shifting gears to pack for Africa we are here!
I will have to write short entries. Got to go!

Proud moments

Hello to my blog world.  I don't know if anyone reads these but like a fellow blogger friend shared with me once, 'it's really an outlet on my feelings'.  She even said she wished she could write a blog that no one would read.  Although I get it, we laughed and said I guess that would be old-fashioned journal writing.  I do keep a journal; many in fact.  Just certain moments require a different outlet.  Since I haven't published anything in 2013 I thought I could jot down a few moments to sum up the last two months.
I've become somewhat of a homebody lately.  Since I am a 'homemaker' I do laundry every day and make my family dinner and run errands.  Rejecting gym invitations and having to be somewhere is unlike me.  But I do feel like my world will be turned upside down and I will have to create a 'new normal'.  Sometimes I still can't believe I'm adopting!  I hate the phrase 'i'm in my adoption process'.  And what a long one it has been.  I continually catch myself saying something negative and then realize I'm insulting God's perfect timing.  I read the other day and made my facebook status 'a grateful heart protects you from negative thinking'.  That's for sure! I love hearing about someone's adoption story.  They are all uniquely beautiful.  Who am I to tell God how to script mine? Like I'm a better writer? Each time I share my story with someone for the first time and I get to the part where I have a friend in Ethiopia whom I met at Capernwray Bible School in Texas 24 years ago, and she lives 5 minutes away from my daughter's orphanage and she visits and gives me 'extra' updates and pictures, I love the person's reaction.  I get goosebumps.  What a blessing!
I have been feeling many new feelings lately.  Watching my biological children grow and exceed their goals and becoming wonderful, mature adults.  Jacob, my oldest, got accepted to the University of Michigan (U of M) and made me cry when I read one of his application essays 'one reason why I want to go to U of M is that it is close enough to home to visit my family as I will have an adopted sister to get to know'.  Cry! Then he swims his last swim meet last week earning four medals by reaching his best swim times in his four year career.  Cry! My daughter,Blaire  is talking about helping others and sticking up for her faith and morals in many situations. Cry! To top it all off, today I receive a video from my baby's orphanage, and witness her softly talking to the caregiver and gently feeding a stuffed dog and taking care of a stuffed Mickey.  I thought I was getting just a short update on her weight, height, etc. and when I hit print my printer kept spitting out full page pictures of my 3 1/2 year old standing on one foot, pointing to her eyes and ears when instructed, smiling and looking all too cute and healthy. Cry! Wow, I think I'm going to stay inside, on this cold, snowy morning a little while longer, relishing in God's goodness.
Oh, before I forget, I want to let you all know that my baby's birth mother will go to court March 8 to relinquish her rights a final time.  Pray for her.  Then we should get a court date to go visit maybe 6 weeks later! Cry!
I Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

Do I really have time for this?

I sent out Christmas cards early this year.  We had such a fun year to review that I found it easy to pick out some great pictures of the family to highlight our best times.  We went to baseball playoff games, we traveled with our kids individually and I got to travel to New York and Ethiopia in the last couple of months.  We celebrated 20 years of marriage with 20 wonderful friends and made new friends through our World Vision marathon endeavor.  We supported many water well projects and I found Africa to be on my mind more this year than ever before.  We went through heartache and celebrated successes.  Our newest success is that our son, Jacob, got accepted to the University of Michigan.  But this week represents the week that we should have been in Ethiopia last year.  Our court date was December 21, 2011 and we were very upset to find out the program was being restructured so our plan was postponed.  Lately, I wake up early, finding myself praying for my little girl I had the privilege to hold and laugh with only a couple of months ago.  I have found myself waking up totally frightened that I may never get my court date.  I haven't blogged since October because I never knew what to write about.  Maybe you want to hear about my dislike in the international adoption process, my fear of never getting to adopt my daughter or maybe the frustration I've had with God and His plan for how long all of this is taking.   Not particularly happy Christmas thoughts.  When I go off and want to cry and scream I have to say God's word is always my comfort.  It's not always me knowing where to look - in fact, it's never that. It's wonderful people who have come into my life that share with me what God has brought to them.

These things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!"  Habakkuk 2:3      - Living Bible Translation

My friend sent this to me after a long overdue FaceTime conversation.  I shared about our newest development; Just that we are waiting on paperwork to be signed and people aren't available to sign my daughter over to us.   Slowly! Steadily! I was reminded in our wonderful Christmas program at church yesterday that this was not my vision.  This calling to adopt came out of just being willing and wow, I did not expect any of this.  So, I'm glad I didn't take pictures that captured my hopelessness and ones that showed me crying.  I know new pictures of Scott meeting our daughter will come very soon and pictures of my kids playing with their new sister will be taken soon enough. This time next year I can sit in our wonderful Christmas program and watch my daughter share in the lighting of the candles (Blaire's favorite part).  May we all take a moment to sit in silence and remember our Savior's birth and I hope it has new meaning to you for 2013.  I hope we all have time for that!

Coincidence? I think not!

I was preparing to speak at a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group last week. I had the privilege of speaking about our well-drilling opportunities in Tanzania, and talk about my adoption process. How we were called to adopt is a great story. We hit some bumps in the road but after I shed some tears and feel sorry for myself, I look to the Bible for some comfort. I mean it has been a long unknown wait. I told the young moms to 'plunge' (their years theme) into God's word and I must say this is where I draw strength. I also told them to 'plunge' into the unknown and was reminded of a story from the Bible in Acts 10 but also retold in the book called, Wide Awake, by Erwin McManus. Two men, Cornelius and Peter, from different backgrounds and not interested in one another and highly unlikely to ever meet up. But God orchestrated a great meeting for the two to come together and why? For God's glory. For Him to get the credit. I used this story at MOPS to illustrate how we limit our vision. I quoted McManus and said,'God isn't simply trying to inspire you but call you to a more heroic life'. It's such a cool story, I urge you to read it. The day after , I looked up my daily devotion that was called In Motion and it was based on Acts 10. I start out reading, 'there are no coincidences in life. I work in unexpected ways to set just the right people in positions where they can do the greatest good.'
I started reading it for me. It reaffirmed the whole timing of my adoption. It is not in vain. The fact that I have a friend I met 23 years ago in Texas, living in Ethiopia now, minutes from my daughter is not a coincidence. If I were to say,'How lucky am I' who would get all the credit? Acts 10:22 says,'Cornelius...was divinely directed by a holy angel to call you to his house and to hear a message from you.' The devotion ends with saying,'I've already set in motion to bring about a good result.' I believe this with all my heart.
I haven't quoted a song in a while and these days I'm loving Mark Schultz song, All Things Possible.
I know mountains can move
I've seen what You can do
In my weakness
So my heart will believe
If I wait I will see
My God doing, what only He can do

And when that song comes on the radio it's never a coincidence.

The Adoption Marathon

I'm happy to say my Chicago Marathon #2 is over! My best time yet and I'm recovering very well. I have been training for about 8 months and the training paid off. A marathon is a funny thing. Your body is ready but your mind plays tricks on you between mile 18-24. A time period that has you hating life and everything in it and makes you wonder why you ever paid money and signed yourself up to such a crazy event. But mile 24 comes around and you start to pick yourself up. The end is nearing and you know you can endure the pain to get through to victory. Crossing the finish line makes me want to hug strangers (don't worry I didn't) but it also brings on the tears. You realize what you've just been through and you praise God it's over! Well, my running training is done (for now) but I'm in another marathon in my life. One that makes me not wonder why I signed up but one that keeps me in the mile 18-24 zone. Adoption is a beautiful thing! I'm happy for the families I know that have been enjoying their kids they have received through adoption and I keep waiting for my happy reunion. When does this race end? I have to be honest, today was a hard 'training' day. One where I let my mind go to the unhappy place. The place where I sat and looked at all my pictures and videos I have of my daugther from my visit back in September and asked God 'why so long'? I allowed my body to break down and sob. You know, the kind of sobbing that worries the dog. Reese came over and put her paw on my lap and I just laid down, cuddling her tight for comfort. My friend reminded me I'm in the toughest marathon yet. She reminded me that even when my muscles are cramping and sore I continue to run. She said, it's not about the time but about crossing the finish line. So, I'm praying for mile 25. That's when I get a court date. And mile 26 is when we will return to bring her home. During the Chicago marathon I ran with family (Jacob stayed with me for 11 miles) and had Blaire cheering along the streets with other friends and church family. It was so great to hear people call out my name, cheering me to victory. That's really what gets me through. I have a great cheering section during my adoption marathon. Many have said the right thing at the right time and pray constantly for our daughter and paperwork to be signed in Ethiopia. I could never get through this alone. I don't know how people can get through life's trials without knowing God is in control. It's only because I've trusted God over and over that I can be sure He cares and loves me and loves my daughter more than I ever could.
Acts 20:24 'I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.'