I guess this wouldn't be a true blog if I didn't share about the rough days of motherhood. I mean if you read this and consider adoption you have to hear about the good and bad. Also, I love bragging about my daughter and every child gives a mother grief at some point in their life. Yesterday, was one of those days. When you read about bringing home an adopted child its suggested that you should make life simple for at least two months so they adapt to mom and dad and the core family. Well, add in my sister who lives with us, my son's serious girlfriend, and friends that are like family, and you will see Zoe has a lot of people in her life to get used to. God's timing is perfect and she was given to us at a crazy time in the Clode household; birthday month! Every two days in June we are celebrating someone including Father's Day and 2013 is graduation central! Let's just say the Clodes are partying a little more than usual. I think back on the last 7 weeks and recall when Zoe used to fuss about having to wear a dress, now she wants to be in one all day long. In the orphanage they said she loved shoes and for what I saw there was one pair of crocs she had to fight for daily. Well, crocs won't be found in the Clode household but Nike was one of Zoe's first American words. She has about 8 or 9 pairs to choose from. Have I created a three year old Diva? We kind of had a meltdown over what pair to wear yesterday (and when I say we I mean the three year old.) She screams like no other and at this moment she felt the need to hit me. I could feel the pressure to discipline and I have to be 'creative'. My usual is to be separated from this little one so she realizes I'm not giving in nor do I appreciate her screams! I bring her to her room, plunk her on her bed (I'm allowed to plunk, right?) a run to my room. This particular day we had guests and I'm embarrassed. Now, my kids have been fabulous with this little intruder to their life. They love her to death and help out a lot! Blaire runs to calm her down and the next minute I see her happily getting the attention from teenage girls. What more does a three year old need? The issue still stares me in the face. She needs shoes on to go out in the car to drive said teens home. I get her shoes on, she screams again and I try and put a wiggly toddler in the car seat (I hope the neighbors understand) and by the time I drive down the driveway, I'm crying uncontrollably and she's singing her rendition of the alphabet 'ADCD's'. I can't stop crying. I feel like a failure. She doesn't like me. I feel like she's going to cry about getting her hair washed and going to bed and for eating all her food in her bowl before getting a cookie FOREVER! I've let many people put Zoe to bed so I can get a break in the evening but after two weeks of that she doesn't want me to put her to bed anymore. A mother can't live with that kind of rejection! Last night I cancelled belated birthday plans (ME celebrations can wait) and got into Zoe's bedtime routine. She truly is adorable, loving books and singing my bedtime songs and if it takes me a while to sing her to sleep, so be it. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says 'For everything there is a season'; verse 4 -' a time to weep, a time to laugh'; verse 11 - 'He has made everything beautiful in it's time. Also, He has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.' Maybe this is taken out of context but I know this stage will pass.
And so I come to the end of my thoughts and Zoe peeks at me from my bed (seriously, she just woke up) and I smile. I get to share another day with my beautiful daughter and feel so blessed.
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