That button pressed moment! Come on, we all have them. We don't wake up in the morning and say 'I'm going to be grumpy with my kids today'. We all have good intentions (granted these little ones weren't the cause of our interrupted sleep) and we set out to be patient and loving (granted they woke up dry and you don't have to clean up anything right off the bat). I'm kidding - a little. We want to see those sleepy happy faces to put a smile on our face. Seriously though, Zoe is one happy morning kid. She announces when she's dry and she has been looking forward to waking to her 'book a day' event counting down to Christmas Day. How can I be grumpy with her? Well, it happens. This Saturday I wanted to squeeze in a few errands before her weekend swim lesson. I was joyful when she asked for more fruit with her waffles. I freely gave her a drink on command and I even had on cheery Christmas music. She asked for more syrup and I was patient when she dripped on her pjs, and when blueberries fell to the floor. Now it was my time. I'm getting errands done. Errand number 1; run into a store and return something. Easy. No looking around (it's a small store) and we were early enough to beat the Christmas traffic. I pull into the parking lot and my perceptive girl groans 'not shopping'! BUTTON PUSHED! 'Are you kidding me?', I snapped. I go around to her door and clearly annoyed I say, 'get out and come with me'. A young lady is also in the parking lot and glares at me. Oh she overheard my raised voice. You know the stare that judges your every parental decision. I look back and fake smile. All is fine over here, thank you very much. We walk into the store and Zoe knows not to touch or say anything. We are literally three minutes and now I'm a little more joyfilled again. Still feeling guilty though because Zoe isn't talking to me and she clearly doesn't know why I got angry with her. Why do I do this daily? Its training and teaching and disciplining all day long. It's not that I don't feel appreciated. It's sometimes that I don't hear enough thank yous. But I know now, having two teenagers, that you get those later in life. I know I've been guilty of dishing out the judging stare at the mom that is snapping at her kids in a high pressure situation. I just want to show grace in this moment. I don't know what she's dealing with. I don't know her daily struggles. I just walked into her 'button pressed moment' and I should leave it at that. Grace! A glance and a smile that says 'this moment too shall pass and it will all work out'. Maybe being a seasoned mother now, these moments don't give me as much guilt as they did back when the other kids were little. I still hate it when Dr. Jekyll comes out with little warning but at least with a cheerful 5 year old that just wants to hang with mom I can smile and count my blessings at the end of the day. Christmas stress be gone. I would love to say if we start our day with a prayer and reading of the Bible this won't happen. Not true, however, when God's word is in our hearts it will pop up to remind ourselves for correction. This little gem popped up two minutes after I finished jotting down my thoughts for this blog. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!
Isaiah 50:4
The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.
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