The Good Life

I'm not sure where to start with this one. I just woke up and thought 'it's really a good life'. Waking up at 3:30 a.m isn't my ideal, however, it's for good reason. Today I'm off on my second trip in three years that I get to travel with my oldest daughter, Blaire. Just me and her. Three years ago we took a winter break trip to San Francisco. She took lots of pictures, we saw the sights and drove up and down the coast. Life has gotten crazy since then. Zoe came on the scene and Blaire, well, got older. She loves her friends and has countless sleepovers and mom gets pushed to the side. Ugh. Teens! I don't think anyone could have warned me for the feelings I encounter on a daily basis living with a teenage girl. I used to love roller coasters. Now, not so much.  But today is a good day. I'm headed to San Antonio, Texas to show Blaire where I attended Capernwray Bible School way back when I first got out of high school. With graduation in one year, Blaire is also looking to attend the same school ( or maybe another location). Either way I'm happy to get up early and take her around a wonderful city and who's kidding who we both want to feel the heat. I'm coming out of a little winter hibernation period. I have been experiencing knee pain so my exercise gene has been non existent. I've been binge watching stupid shows and eating lots of chocolate ( why can't Valentine's Day and Easter fall on our warmer months). But a lack of discipline is just one thing that has gotten me down this winter. When the flu hit our family I felt visiting anyone was not a good idea. We didn't entertain and I didn't drive home to visit family. I just consoled myself with some truffles and traded in my real life for one that involved living in crisis and high energy relationships because I was a doctor working in life or death situations in Seattle. ( yeah, you know what I'm talking about). So after the constant knocking on my bedroom door and demands of making dinner I woke up and quit the binge watching cold turkey. I started to cook for friends and entertained Zoe's class for Easter and began to run outside again. This trip today has me getting back to reality. I checked out but meanwhile my girls were growing up in front of me and needed me to be engaged. I'm more involved with people who are in my every day life. Easter was instrumental in opening my eyes to God's fresh start He has for me. (And just when you thought I was diverting from where I started this mornings thought ... Wait for it..) I'm overwhelmed by how God works in our lives. Taking this trip with Blaire is somewhat of a new start. She has her whole life ahead of her and my prayer is she allows God to guide her. It certainly is a good life. 

What's Valentines Day Should Be Like

February 14 conjures up so much emotion.  If you've been hurt or not on the receiving end of getting a Valentine this day you might pretend it doesn't exist. You might be someone who tends to hold the bar unrealistically high and get disappointed when you don't get jewelry every year or your favorite chocolates and flowers. In high school we used to sell Hershey kisses or carnations for student council and I didn't hold my breath to see if I would get one. Got to say, that growing up my dad wasn't the most romantic guy. He would forget to call when he would be home late and forget birthdays and the words 'I love you' were far from his lips but never far from his heart. But he fell for the cheesy, giant, long winded Valentine cards with red velvet and mushy sayings for my mother every year. He would buy the box of chocolates that are conveniently displayed by the door of Shoppers Drug Mart (the Canadian version of Walgreens and CVS, but way better); the stores that gives no guy any excuse for forgetting this day. I remember the couple of times my dad went all out and brought home Valentines for all his girls too (heck the poor guy had four daughters to contend with) However, my point is, he always acknowledged Valentine's Day. 
I'm sad that married couples and dating couples downplay this opportunity to display a special token of love. February 14 comes at the perfect time of year in my opinion. We just made it through the January Blues (especially in snowy winter states) There's not much coming up until the warmer weather peaks in about April - if we're lucky - and Groundhog Day usually disappoints. So we need a special day in February. Maybe you write a poem, or make a homemade breakfast or go out for a special dinner using a Christmas gift card. No money for a card? Go to the card section at any store with your Valentine and pick out the perfect sentiment, give it to them to read in the aisle and laugh or cry and put it back. Scott and I used to do that for years. It's not necessarily about money or affection but effort. I've made the heart shape cut out toast with eggs for breakfast in bed and planned the surprise date where Scott just has to show up. We've gone to a rodeo, had heart shaped pizza and the stay at home movie night. Just trying to be creative for 25 years. 
Yesterday we celebrated Valentine's Day. Got a babysitter and went to our favorite restaurant and chose a movie we thought we would both like. We arrived home at 10 pm to find a flood in the basement. Switch gears. Lovely night out with my husband but now saving some boxes that were piled up around the furnace and are getting soaked. My precious books got wet and I'm freaking out to save them.  Scott grabs his tools and shuts the water off and pulls apart the broken pipe. We move boxes, mop up the floor and we both count our blessings that it wasn't flooding long enough to creep into our newly finished, carpeted basement. We laugh at how Valentine's Day just became a regular day of hanging out, exchanging loveable words and lustful looks ( at each other of course) and go to bed quite happy with another Valentine's Day surrounded by loved ones. Showing love to friends and neighbors and my kids was all apart of the Valentine spirit. I got up early this morning to make my kids their favorite muffins and present them with cheesy Valentine trinkets (sister love plastic cups and heart rubber duckies). They know this mom shows love by giving gifts. 
I love the example we have of how Gods love endures forever. He's a loving God that proves his love in big and small ways. Sometimes He gives us what we ask for but I like it when He surprises me with more than what I could have thought to ask for. I hope you get a new love for this day we call Valentine's Day. Make it special for others. You are loved and appreciated more than you know. Happy Valentine's Day! 

We love because He first loved us  1 John 4:19. 

Michael Bouchard's cold, oil issues and other wonderful things on FB that got me distracted today.

That title just got some first timers to check out my blog. Normally I write about my five year old or adoption or running. But creeping on Facebook sounds way more appealing today. Welcome! 

So you are well aware that if you are on Facebook you are available to the world. Sounds so creepy yet we all stay on this crazy ride. Not sure what I would have done growing up with this device. I know I wouldn't have had an iphone as a teen because I would have had to pay for it myself and since we never owned a VHS machine (or that other one no one had... What was it called again????? Oh ya, Beta) we probably wouldn't have had a computer either. But now as a 44 year old, stay at home mom, I get my kicks out of seeing who I can be connected with in an instant. Besides keeping up with my cousin's daily dog escapades in Scotland and finding out what family member just had surgery I get to find out what complete strangers are up to. It can't be creeping if you comment on a 'friends' page and it pops up in my FB feed for the day. Now, with all this time consuming FB, I have a rule that I have to read the Bible before I sit down and click on FB on my phone in the morning. It's a good rule, however, today something inside me said 'it will just take a second. Wish someone a happy birthday and get off'. Easy! Not this morning. Michael Bouchard's post popped up first. My usual rule to friend someone is that we have to actually meet face to face at some point in my life. Michael and I are tight. He's twenty something, single and we worked together at church a while back. See? Tight. Today Michael is sick. I said a prayer, and then kept reading about his plight over the ever popular hot topic of essential oils. Like Michael, I too am a skeptic. To be honest, I actually want it to be way easier like someone order stuff for me and I'll pay them but that's neither here nor there. When someone has 21 comments on a fun post I like to read up (research if you will) on what everyone has to say. You get your friends who like to joke and say funny embarrassing things about the topic. Then you get your 'I tried that and it worked' helpful posts. Then you get your two essential oil company rivals spout out 'the oils that are best and what they can cure' banter going on. This led me to remember the names of people I have to personally message about oils later and then, if you're lucky, you get that link to a funny blog. Here we go!  That moment I wish I read my Bible first.  The moment that makes me start my day late and then I neglect to read the Bible at all. The moment that makes my five year old exasperated because I'm on my phone when she wakes up.  Oops.  But I did come across a very funny blog.  That doesn't go over well with Zoe.  In this blog a lady is ranting about how germy Doctor's offices are and during cold season when you bring your sick child in for help they are usually back in the said Doctor's office in three days with another sickness they caught by being in there in the first place.  'Well played' she comments.  This made me crack up, sign up for her blogs and buy her book.  Too funny.  Facebook is fascinating.  It finds me creeping in every day to see what 'friends' are up to and find out what everyones weather is like and what our adorable kids are up to.  I dump photos of vacations and funny things Zoe says.  The year 2014 added a new dynamic and now my husband has joined the ranks of facebook.  So now at dinner when I say, 'did you see the video that was posted about.." and he replies yes!.  We have nothing to share.  Well, good thing I have that new book coming in the mail.  It will cheer me up and keep me off FB for a few days.  I hope no one has a baby or gets sick while I'm gone.  Before I forget here's the link to the better blog you should read today. You're welcome. 
Coffee+Crumbs: If Any of You Mention Oils, I Will Punch You i…

Not Your Typical New Year's Resolution

I like celebrating New Year's.  I like making New Year's resolutions.  I think because I like new beginnings. Now at my age, I like to reflect back and take stock of my life.  2014 was a year of travel for me. I think March was the only month I didn't go away somewhere.   I traveled with family, with friends, with my parents and even once just with Zoe.  I saw new sights, I revisited old places and I experienced new things.  This is definitely a year to remember!  Back in 2012, I began this blog to mainly break out of my comfort zone and share what's going on in my head, open up about my mistakes, and to share teaching moments.  I called it "Your journey matters" and originally thought it would be more about my adoption journey.  I love the places I've been to, and funny enough I even enjoy the packing and unpacking. But the day to day journey is reality.  I've always struggled with what my purpose here on earth is.  How can God use me?  I usually think of big things.  Some big job He has for me. Something other than motherhood or being a homemaker.  It's a woman thing I guess.  Then I found myself peeking into 2015. Switzerland? Hawaii? No, the reality journey.  I read my devotion to find these words.

Marvel at the beauty of a life intertwined with My (Jesus) Presence.  Rejoice as we journey together in intimate communion.  Enjoy the adventure of finding yourself through losing yourself in Me.  

Whoa! Sadly, that's what I've been missing in 2014.  A more intimate communion with God.  Finding out what that looks like will likely take a few more blogs, but I'm pretty sure it means reading His word.  The Bible.  I teach it to kids at church, I teach it to Zoe and my older two kids and I've shared it with people who needed it.  But I lack the humble accounts with my Lord and Savior.  This is not to make me feel better, or a magic formula for a safe life.  It's what He asks of me.
So 2015 will be another journey for Bev Clode.  I'm ready to buckle up, look up from my phone and engage in other's lives.  I want to look out the window and marvel at where God will take me.  Maybe I blog about it or maybe keep it to myself.  Either way my prayer is that this time next year I will be changed.  Who's with me?
Happy New Year!

2015 Theme Verse;
John 15:4
Remain in me, and I will remain in you.  No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 

A Quote from Dr. Seuss;
“Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!” 

Button pressed moments

That button pressed moment! Come on, we all have them.  We don't wake up in the morning and say 'I'm going to be grumpy with my kids today'.  We all have good intentions (granted these little ones weren't the cause of our interrupted sleep) and we set out to be patient and loving (granted they woke up dry and you don't have to clean up anything right off the bat).  I'm kidding - a little.  We want to see those sleepy happy faces to put a smile on our face.  Seriously though, Zoe is one happy morning kid.  She announces when she's dry and she has been looking forward to waking to her 'book a day' event counting down to Christmas Day.  How can I be grumpy with her? Well, it happens.  This Saturday I wanted to squeeze in a few errands before her weekend swim lesson.  I was joyful when she asked for more fruit with her waffles.  I freely gave her a drink on command and I even had on cheery Christmas music.  She asked for more syrup and I was patient when she dripped on her pjs, and when blueberries fell to the floor.  Now it was my time.  I'm getting errands done.  Errand number 1; run into a store and return something.  Easy. No looking around (it's a small store) and we were early enough to beat the Christmas traffic.  I pull into the parking lot and my perceptive girl groans 'not shopping'! BUTTON PUSHED!  'Are you kidding me?', I snapped.  I go around to her door and clearly annoyed I say, 'get out and come with me'.  A young lady is also in the parking lot and glares at me.  Oh she overheard my raised voice.  You know the stare that judges your every parental decision.  I look back and fake smile. All is fine over here, thank you very much.  We walk into the store and Zoe knows not to touch or say anything.  We are literally three minutes and now I'm a little more joyfilled again.  Still feeling guilty though because Zoe isn't talking to me and she clearly doesn't know why I got angry with her.  Why do I do this daily? Its training and teaching and disciplining all day long.  It's not that I don't feel appreciated.  It's sometimes that I don't hear enough thank yous.  But I know now, having two teenagers, that you get those later in life.  I know I've been guilty of dishing out the judging stare at the mom that is snapping at her kids in a high pressure situation.  I just want to show grace in this moment.  I don't know what she's dealing with.  I don't know her daily struggles. I just walked into her 'button pressed moment' and I should leave it at that. Grace! A glance and a smile that says 'this moment too shall pass and it will all work out'.  Maybe being a seasoned mother now, these moments don't give me as much guilt as they did back when the other kids were little.  I still hate it when Dr. Jekyll comes out with little warning but at least with a cheerful 5 year old that just wants to hang with mom I can smile and count my blessings at the end of the day.  Christmas stress be gone.  I would love to say if we start our day with a prayer and reading of the Bible this won't happen.  Not true, however, when God's word is in our hearts it will pop up to remind ourselves for correction.  This little gem popped up two minutes after I finished jotting down my thoughts for this blog.  Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

Isaiah 50:4
The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary.  He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.

Summer Blues

I'm feeling a little guilty these days.  Ok, a lot guilty! I want school to start back today! Now, remember I was a homeschooling mom so my kids were with me all the time.  I don't remember feeling like this back then.  My kids talked a lot which can be exhausting and I don't remember TV being a summer option to pass the time.  They did have each other but I also recall Blaire never joining Jacob with his Lego creations and Jacob never dressing up Blaire's American Girl dolls so they must have learned how to play alone.  I know all kids are different but I'm 44!  It's young when I want it to be but with a toddler? Not so much.  I'm in a world with teens that drive, work and have extracurricular activities that keep them from being in the home more than two hours during my waking existence.  My days seem to last longer than 24 hours.  Is that even possible? As you can guess, I'm referring to my one and only, lovable little four year old.  Zoe is a laugh all day.  I picked her up from Princess Camp (yes, this is a thing) and she asked me what I did when I was all by myself.  I told her today I went to the bookstore and she says, "without me?"  Like I can't possibly do fun things without her.  She is such a lovable kid that I wish I could change my love language to words of affirmation or touch because that's all she dishing out to this mom.  Too soon to ask her for a gift to really show me love? I think I work better with a routine.  Let me rephrase that; I know I do but summer is the opposite of rigid and routine.  I could do without this laid back attitude the world has enforced during the months of June, July and August!  I have Zoe in two VBS programs and was elated to see another one pop up down the street.  That one is in the evening but I'll take it.   Yes, she's learning about God but I am the happiest mom dropping her off.  I used to loathe moms like me back in the day.  I was the VBS coordinator and all moms should do their duty and serve! LOL! Now this should make me feel guilty, right?  Convicted, maybe? Nope!  I got nothing.  Literally, nothing to give.  I'm tapped out.  So, I look forward to VBS, then a family camping trip, followed by two more weeks of VBS and a trip without kids then glorious Labor Day.  I can't tell you exactly how many days that is but I know we will be back to school shopping soon to make it feel sooner! Aww summer!

A Mother's work is never done

I love to bird watch! There, I said it!  This shows my age and quite possibly gives away what I do with my time. I watch them build their nests, I watch them perch in their nests and I love how the male and female work tirelessly to feed their babies until they fly away all independent like. Now I'm feeling very insignificant.  Do I work that tirelessly for my family?
 We are entering a weekend where kids make you great cards and say endearing things about their mother.  I love it.  Sometimes it's forced (Scott has to remind them) and other times they are so candid.  I came across a letter the other day that was typed out and listed the jobs I do to make this child's life better.  Making lunches, doing their laundry, being their personal chauffeur.  Everything I really love doing. I've been a housewife for 22 years.  I always wanted to be a housewife that is industrious, disciplined, creative, and  I strive to be make our house comfortable.
 I glance out the window and watch these two robins swoop in to feed their babies.  This nest has been created and added to for about 5 years.  Both the dad and mom feed the babies about 35-40 times a day (I googled that) and they work together.  I have watched the babies in past years fly away for the first time and both parents feed them and stay close to make sure they are doing alright.
 I'm glad Mother's Day lands on a Sunday when Jacob is home from college and  I get to celebrate with all three of my children.  I love that they get along, love to try new things and have experienced a lot in their short lives.  I love getting a 'birds eye view' of their growth and happy to take care of their needs while they are living in my 'nest'.  This same weekend we are celebrating our 22nd anniversary and Scott's 44th birthday.  His mother, Margaret, got to celebrate Mother's Day in the hospital giving birth to her second child.  Although, Margaret isn't with us anymore I know she was a fantastic mother.  She raised such a great boy who respected his elders and became smart, responsible and grew to love God because of her influence.  A mother's love is a strong thing and I don't want to take it for granted.  I'm thankful I have the best job ever!
The robin mama is done feeding at the moment and now sitting on her babies, keeping them safe and warm.  Man, would I love to keep my babies home .... like forever!  Not!  I really do enjoy every stage my kids grow into.  I loved them at age two (the baby stage was not my favorite) at 6, at 10, even entering their sassy teen years.  I love them when they don't want to talk to me and welcome them when they do.  I can't wait to see them as parents one day and will enjoy being a grandma (like when I'm 60).  Parenting is hard work but so rewarding.  A shout out to my mom who gave me confidence and security in knowing who I am.  My mom made me tough and even though she wants me to slow down now in life, she always supported my athletic endeavors.  I want to be a Grandma like her who loves her 14 grand kids and says silly things and gets away with it.  Me at 80 folks.  But on this Mothers Day I must remember Zoe's birth mom.  I'm sure not a day goes by that she doesn't think of Zoe.  I owe her so much but I'm the one who gets to marvel at how much she has grown and learned.  I get to laugh at her knock knock jokes and beam as she wakes up dry without pull ups on in the morning.  It's an amazing gift to raise all three children and I don't want to take that for granted.  May Zoe's birth mom have peace about her decision and love on her other children who help her with daily life.
 The mama robin sits back down after another feeding.  She seems content and on guard for another day of protection.  In the book of Matthew, Jesus is talking about worrying and how it doesn't add any time to our life if we do it.  He reminds us about how much God cares for the birds.

 Matthew 6:26  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

It has been thirty years since I've known Scott Clode, twenty-two years of being his wife, and almost 19 years of being a mom and  love overwhelms me right now.  How cool that we all have a purpose here on earth.  I want to take that attitude into all I do.