Let me be her answered prayer

Today I was looking back on a journal I began writing when we first started our adoption journey.  I wrote,
'Lord, where are you taking me? I'm entering a world, a journey, I know nothing about.  Being so helpless, poor and alone that I cannot care for my own child.  I don't personally know anyone who lives like this, yet is this my child's birth mom?  Is she too young, or sick or has other children and cannot feed another? I will take them.  Let me be your hands and feet to help a girl who can't bear to be separated from their child but has no choice.  Let me be her answered prayer.'

Reading back on my journals remind me of the incredible miracle we have in Zoe.  We are approaching her 3rd Gotcha Day on April 12 and I'm always reminiscent of the events and thoughts and prayers that lead us to being her parents.  I write an update on her growth and development every year and send it to our agency in hopes that this will allow Ethiopia and other countries support the adoption effort that is so needed.  Just a couple of months after we brought Zoe home her orphanage shut down and the children who were 'left' were sent back to their villages.  I cannot even imagine.  I support the way our agency chose a child for us rather than us looking through pictures and choosing one that stood out to us.  We were on the journey to choose two children at one time.  We were told it's a longer wait for a sibling group but we could wait.  In my journal, I was reminded of some government changes towards adoption cases.  We still were giving this to God and waited for two children to show up for us to adopt.  Scott went to Haiti during the aftermath of the earthquake at that time and obviously was struck by the huge orphan crisis in Haiti.  I wrote about God softening our hearts to possibly one child in Ethiopia and one from Haiti.  I'm so glad I documented my thoughts.  The process was full of changes and answered prayers along the way.  How could I rely on anything but God in this situation?  He knew the big picture.  I would wake at night worrying for our child.  On Mar.11'11 I wrote about reading Mark 14.  In preparing for the Passover with Jesus some disciples were instructed to go to a city and find a man and follow him to his home etc. and in verse 16 it says,'and the disciples left, went into the city and found things just as Jesus had told them.'  I always think about how Jesus could just get the essentials himself.  Make them appear and still amaze his friends. Just like he could make this government block disappear.  Allow Zoe to come home and not endure life in an orphanage. I asked God many times why we were jumping through unnecessary hoops to do a good thing.  God says take care of the orphans and we wanted to but why did it take three years? The disciples got to go on a journey and watch how every detail of this Passover feast was unfolding by following His every step.  We took lots of steps I had forgotten about. That's why I journal.

Saying yes to God never comes up short.  I'm listening to the audio book titled, 'What Happens When Women Say Yes To God'.  Lysa Terkeurst says,'Don't look at your inabilities and give into your insecurities.' 'In my disobedience what am I missing?'  If I didn't say yes to adoption look at what I would have missed out on!

We waited three years for Zoe and now we have had her in our care for three years.  How can that be?  My yearly update included how Zoe loves school.  She has been a great world traveler.  She eats well and growing like a weed.  She is getting better at sports and loves to read.
I often Facebook about the crazy things Zoe comes up with and I want to leave you with what I documented on Feb. 27'16
Tonight Zoe asked Scott to read her about Jesus' death.  So they read the bible and she said, 'What is rich?' Scott answered. 'What is poor'? Scott answered.  Then Zoe said, 'I was poor.'  Scott told her that her birth mommy loved her very much and God had a plan for her.  Zoe answered, 'ya, to be with you guys.' It makes me cry every time!

Psalm 22 is a cry for help by David.  Verse 24 says,'For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.'

I thank God that He listened to the cry for help by two moms and for their worlds to collide.  We were each other's answered prayer.
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A Mother's work is never done

I love to bird watch! There, I said it!  This shows my age and quite possibly gives away what I do with my time. I watch them build their nests, I watch them perch in their nests and I love how the male and female work tirelessly to feed their babies until they fly away all independent like. Now I'm feeling very insignificant.  Do I work that tirelessly for my family?
 We are entering a weekend where kids make you great cards and say endearing things about their mother.  I love it.  Sometimes it's forced (Scott has to remind them) and other times they are so candid.  I came across a letter the other day that was typed out and listed the jobs I do to make this child's life better.  Making lunches, doing their laundry, being their personal chauffeur.  Everything I really love doing. I've been a housewife for 22 years.  I always wanted to be a housewife that is industrious, disciplined, creative, and  I strive to be make our house comfortable.
 I glance out the window and watch these two robins swoop in to feed their babies.  This nest has been created and added to for about 5 years.  Both the dad and mom feed the babies about 35-40 times a day (I googled that) and they work together.  I have watched the babies in past years fly away for the first time and both parents feed them and stay close to make sure they are doing alright.
 I'm glad Mother's Day lands on a Sunday when Jacob is home from college and  I get to celebrate with all three of my children.  I love that they get along, love to try new things and have experienced a lot in their short lives.  I love getting a 'birds eye view' of their growth and happy to take care of their needs while they are living in my 'nest'.  This same weekend we are celebrating our 22nd anniversary and Scott's 44th birthday.  His mother, Margaret, got to celebrate Mother's Day in the hospital giving birth to her second child.  Although, Margaret isn't with us anymore I know she was a fantastic mother.  She raised such a great boy who respected his elders and became smart, responsible and grew to love God because of her influence.  A mother's love is a strong thing and I don't want to take it for granted.  I'm thankful I have the best job ever!
The robin mama is done feeding at the moment and now sitting on her babies, keeping them safe and warm.  Man, would I love to keep my babies home .... like forever!  Not!  I really do enjoy every stage my kids grow into.  I loved them at age two (the baby stage was not my favorite) at 6, at 10, even entering their sassy teen years.  I love them when they don't want to talk to me and welcome them when they do.  I can't wait to see them as parents one day and will enjoy being a grandma (like when I'm 60).  Parenting is hard work but so rewarding.  A shout out to my mom who gave me confidence and security in knowing who I am.  My mom made me tough and even though she wants me to slow down now in life, she always supported my athletic endeavors.  I want to be a Grandma like her who loves her 14 grand kids and says silly things and gets away with it.  Me at 80 folks.  But on this Mothers Day I must remember Zoe's birth mom.  I'm sure not a day goes by that she doesn't think of Zoe.  I owe her so much but I'm the one who gets to marvel at how much she has grown and learned.  I get to laugh at her knock knock jokes and beam as she wakes up dry without pull ups on in the morning.  It's an amazing gift to raise all three children and I don't want to take that for granted.  May Zoe's birth mom have peace about her decision and love on her other children who help her with daily life.
 The mama robin sits back down after another feeding.  She seems content and on guard for another day of protection.  In the book of Matthew, Jesus is talking about worrying and how it doesn't add any time to our life if we do it.  He reminds us about how much God cares for the birds.

 Matthew 6:26  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

It has been thirty years since I've known Scott Clode, twenty-two years of being his wife, and almost 19 years of being a mom and  love overwhelms me right now.  How cool that we all have a purpose here on earth.  I want to take that attitude into all I do.

Drifting Off To My Happy Place

'Take me to my happy place' was the recurring theme throughout our 'experience' at the salon yesterday.  Usually going to the salon is relaxing.   I personally get my hair done in my neighbor's home salon and always have a very enjoyable time chatting and getting caught up.  Well, this wasn't for me and it was a new place I thought we could try to get Zoe's hair braided for vacation.  Up until now, I have washed and styled my daughter's hair.  I'm no expert.  Even with Blaire's hair I never learned to braid any fancy style.  Well, Zoe's hair is different.  I love reading about other friends on Facebook who are going through the same thing with their adopted children.  Success stories and shameless photos of the finished product is always encouraging.  However, the beautiful end result comes with sweat and tears.  I thought if I went to a salon and had someone who had experience with braiding African American hair we could be done with little pain.  Zoe cries at the mention of getting her hair done.  If I tell her it's bath time she always asks, 'and hair?' She's relieved when I reply that it's just a bath, no hair.  Yesterday, I had to take her braids out first before we got in the car and drove 25 mins away.  I could tell she didn't like this unknown destination and kept telling me she's scared.  (a break your heart moment right?) The young lady, ready to conquer the task, has been doing her siblings' hair since she was 12.  She wasn't overly talkative but with mom standing in front of Zoe, holding an iPad and feeding her snacks, we tried to bear through it.  The lady at the front desk interrupted us after 15 mins and told me if she continues to cry we will have to leave.  Stress factor #1.  This young girl started out doing the design I wanted (that was really simple) but ended up with 15 braids - and that was just the top part of her head!  Stress factor #2!  Doesn't she realize taking these braids out is just as stressful?  I was wishing to melt away to my happy place.  Someplace warm, of course.  A place where I have no responsibilities and certainly not a place where people are interrupting my peace.  Back to the salon, another lady comes over to try and console Zoe by telling her she needs to be a big girl and not cry.  More women kept trying to offer a better snack - like that's the issue. Yes, it distracted her for a second but only made me sweat more.  I wanted to walk out.   Have you ever been at the grocery store with young kids and they're crying and people walk by and offer their advice on why they are crying?  'Oh, it must be nap time'.  No, they are just having a temper tantrum because I told them no candy!  Another lady in the salon, told me she is stressing out!  Zoe is stressing out! (understatement)  Do you want to see stressing out?  How about the time when I first put Zoe in the bath.  She probably got washed down in a bucket with cold water outside of the orphanage.  No bathtubs there.  How about the time I got her to sit in the tub.  That was stressful.  When I watched a nanny braid her hair in the orphanage and even when we first got her home and we offered up TV and every piece of candy we had.  Nope!  Zoe's hair is thick and curly.  It's beautiful and I love it and I am learning with every hair wash and new style we try to ease up on the tangles.  I keep trying new products because there has to be a miracle cream and conditioner.  Zoe has come such a long way!  We celebrate one year on April 12.  Her Gotcha Day!  My next blog will list all the new challenges she has overcome and experiences this 4 year old has achieved in one short year.  But this hair thing is definitely a lifelong one.  I know she will grow up to appreciate her hair and what we go through (please God).

Three hours and 23 braids later we have the best hair style yet.  But I won't be rushing back.  I learned from this girl and bought a few tools to help me in the future.  This will have to continue to be a private experience so Zoe feels comfortable, so people don't see me sweat and to keep the cost down.  Everyone comments on how cute her fro looks when it's just full and she has a great bow or headband in.  And then every African American tells me, don't do it!  It dries out so quickly and more traumatic to brush out the next day.  Thankfully these hair styles last between 2-3 weeks so we all get a break.  Applaud moms with young children who spend a couple of hours on their girl's hair.   Drifting off to my happy place is fine but this is reality.  I'm not skilled but I try and trying to eliminate the tears - mostly mine.  

Raising kids

It was so great to hang out with all my kids yesterday.  Jacob and Blaire always get along and hearing Zoe squeal from the back seat, 'Are we at Jacob's school yet'?  just amazes me what has transpired in the last 10 months.  I remember back when we first introduced the idea of adoption to the kids.  They were settled with life as it was.  At the time, Jacob wasn't a fan of change, and so we were in the car talking about raising kids and I told him we were thinking about adoption.  I remember his reaction was, 'no, no, no'!  I told him to pray about it.  He was 13 and I knew he would.  We had just moved him from his old neighborhood and school that he was very comfortable in.  We moved churches as well and he seemed to always be in a new environment.  We prayerfully made all those moves and this was no exception.  Blaire just wanted a sister so she was on board. Two weeks later Jacob said he prayed and we should adopt.  Who knew at that time, across the globe, a little girl was born and her father had died around this time.  Her mother struggled to feed her kids and who knows who put the idea of relinquishing her rights in her head but I'm sure it wasn't an easy and quick decision by any means.  That same girl is upset with Jacob four hours later when we have to say goodbye and leave him at college. Today is just a quick lunch visit and she folds her arms in protest but kisses her brother and doesn't understand that he will be home for a break in 6 days.  It makes me cry to see the love that has formed between these two.  Even the look on Blaire's face when she comes home from school every day to get a hug from her new sister.  It doesn't seem so new anymore.  Its regular life in the Clode household.  I think back to some things I tried to instill in my kids growing up.
1. Home is a safe place.  There was no tolerance for sibling rivalry.  They were to respect one another and not call each other names.  'Stupid' was banned from our vocabulary to the point of when I read a book with that word in it I would say 'silly'.  It was hard for me to hear Scott read that same book and he didn't get the word change 'memo'.  LOL.  The kids are friends now and I believe Zoe feels safe here.  We can't control how people treat us in the world so I put up boundaries in our home.
2. God became apart of our everyday life.  I remember getting Jacob dressed for church on a Sunday morning in his suit and tie.  He was 6 years old and he yelled out he hated going to church and he didn't want to go.  My heart sank and I felt like I failed as a mother.  We decided that making him was the answer that day but we also didn't make church the only time he heard about God.  Our kids began to see that worshiping Jesus can be done around the dinner table, through our conversation, or in the car when we can sing to Him.  We began to see that our clothes and when we attended church wasn't the issue.  Prayerfully our kids got to see God work in their lives and I think our whole adoption story has changed their lives forever.
3. Our kids aren't the center of our family.  Let me explain.  I believe God has created marriage forever.  Scott and I were married for three years before Jacob came along.  Having a baby didn't come between Scott and I.  Literally, he didn't sleep between us in our bed.  He needed to respect Daddy and Mommy time and we left him with babysitters and went on vacation once in a while without him ( and Blaire when she came along).  I believe in kids seeing their parents be in control and not the other way around.  This was demonstrated to Zoe day 1.  She would flip out about a lot of things and of course we had to allow her time to feel acclimated and comfortable and safe.  But she never slept in our bed and I stood my ground on how she was treating all of us when she wanted her way.  To make her feel apart of this family I only knew to treat her like the others.  That's why I think she fits in so well. She officially was named Zoe Ayame Clode on Jan.7, 2014.  She goes to preschool, loves singing about Jesus, and loves hanging out with our family and friends.  She gets upset when she has to share her toys because she's four. She is a great eater and knows she has to stay in her seat in a restaurant.  She is learning to dress herself and make her bed.  I'm a mother of three and I'm so proud of all of them.

Gold Seals

I love getting gold seals. In third grade I got the most gold stars in a math quiz competition and won. Funny now, since math is not my strong suit. Getting gold means winning and I equate that with the red ribbon (which means first place in Canada) and I earned many in track and other competitions throughout my life. Well, today gold seal means my work is complete in the world of adoption. We are given a list of documents we have to dig up from birth certificates to financial statements. Friends write their recommendations for us, we have pictures taken of our family and we write a letter to Ethiopia telling them why we want to adopt. Then we get them notarized. There are special requirements for the notary and we finalized them last week. Today I sat in the DMV for 60 minutes and had a man approve my notaries and made my paperwork all official. Then, I copied every page four times. You'd think I would be a pro at all this since this is our second time around. We originally had to collect these documents two years ago when we initially sent off our request for a child. Paperwork is daunting for me but after my initial shock of having come through two years and find out it's all going to expire in two months, I got right to it.
I've been praying for my daughter all day. I've had a smile on my face and feel like I would do anything for her now that we have a face and name to this girl. Our updates are encouraging in the fact that things are still moving forward. Still no court date though. I would never tell anyone not to adopt because of time and paperwork.
The hard does not minimize His goodness but allows us to experience His goodness in a whole new way. - Katie Davis
God has got this and I'm so glad because I'm sure I would mess it up if it were up to me. I love when people ask about the process and love when others are anxious and even upset. It gives me a chance to give God the glory. It's ok and we will have our daughter soon enough. As for now, we have filled her room with a friend of Jacob's who needed a place to stay and I am volunteering one day of the week in a kindergarten class and I'm studying Nehemiah with a great group of ladies and training for a half marathon and full later in the year. So, I'm awarding God a gold seal for constantly reminding me of His love and His control and His goodness.
Jeremiah 32:17 - Lord and King, you have reached out your great and powerful arm. You have made the heavens and the earth. Nothing is too hard for you.

Finding a blog for your needs

Do I take my blogging seriously? Not at all. That's why I want to refer you to another blog. It reminds me of Miracle on 34th Street when Kris Kringle refers the Macy's customers to shop at Gimbels for their shopping needs. I came across this blog one day while I was jumping into another conversation between two bible school friends of mine. They were talking about one's recent trip to Africa and then I found out one of them is adopting. The person they were sharing information about is Katie Davis and I immediately found a youtube interview of her. After inviting my husband to watch and later my son, I couldn't get enough information about this 22 year old who is affecting so many lives in Uganda. I know her faith, obedience and compassion will move you. She has a book called Kisses From Katie and her blog is kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com. I found her book in our local grocery store and read it in a couple of weeks. I cried, I rejoiced and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with it. She is very candid about her feelings of leaving her loved ones in the U.S. however, when she returned home for a short while she found her heart and life was in Uganda where she has now adopted 14 girls. Now do I have your attention? The way she writes about each of her girls and everyone she meets is inspiring and makes me want to know people more deeply.
We have finished a month long challenge at our church reading the last book I recommended by the president of World Vision. The Hole in Our Gospel. I have seen friends sponsor children, sign up for a mission trip, commit a day a week to serve in our community, volunteer for community outreaches, teens go dirty and hungry for a week to raise money for Haiti. All getting out of their comfort zone. Hopefully people will be moved to commit to adoption too. I'm amazed at what God is doing.
Matt 25:31-40
31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Not my Idea

I'm reminded today of the moment I wrestled with God about adoption. It was a time in my life that I could have done anything. I'm a stay at home mom but I could go into leadership in bible study. I had the opportunity to teach kids full time at our church. But God had other plans. I was listening to a former pastor at our church speak one Sunday and the topic was 'Jesus Isn't Quiet'. Dave Nelson said this,"You know when it's Jesus speaking to you when it's something you wouldn't have thought up on your own, and when it just doesn't go away". Wow! You know when I went back to hear the message again he didn't say that part. It stuck with me.
I just finished the book The Hole in our Gospel by Richard Sterns. It challenges readers to get up and do something. You may not know what it is but are you willing? I prayed to God that He would use my life in a mighty way. So God said,'adopt'! And I told God no! Multiple times. I came across magazine articles and pictures of friend's adopted kids and I couldn't shake it. It was everywhere. I kept this from Scott for a few days until I thought if I told him he would tell me I was crazy and put an end to it all. To my surprise, without hesitation, he said,"let's do it"!
This was insane. We were almost 40! Our kids were so settled in their routine and this would mess up room assignments in the house and vacations. I just sold all our toys and books at a garage sale that summer. We have nothing! I'm a planner. Scott and I were going to travel more, do missions together. It was so upside down! It was like I heard God audibly say,"Exactly"! Matthew 16:25-Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me (Jesus) will find it.
I asked God to bring our kids on board and within days Blaire brought it up, all without ever talking about adoption before. Soon Jacob was praying and agreed.
That was over two years ago. I'm challenged again to get up and do something and keep reminding God I already agreed to this adoption. What more does He want? If I'm serious about following Jesus, it's on going. Read the book The Hole in our Gospel but beware. God is on the move.

My adoption update: They are processing cases from the area my daughter is from and her region is next. I read this today. Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Emotional Roller Coaster

I used to be a roller coaster fan!  I remember my first experience. I was coaxed by my oldest sister who ensured me I would be alright.  Because she would go on with me I put my trust in her at 8 years old....and I survived.  Even though this same very old wooden coaster called The Flyer was the place of many accidents on the Exhibition grounds in Toronto.   It has since been removed from the Ex.
I had a similar incident with my daughter when she was about 7 or 8 when we dragged her on North America's longest wooden roller coaster (in Ohio).  I kept looking back to see if she was ok while most of the time her face was buried into her Daddy's chest.  I thought for sure she would cry at the end and be upset with me for telling her she'd be ok.  The photo captured during the ride would convince anyone that we were bad parents for taking her on at such a young age.  But, Blaire is a strong girl and after she walked off the ride she smiled and said, 'let's go on it again'! 
I was reminded of these two incidents when our pastor at church spoke last night and said, 'Truth will lead you to trust every time'.  My daughter and I trusted in the truth we heard about our safety. When we read about the disciples riding in a boat with Jesus and a storm threatens their life they freak out and yell, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?". Well, don't I find myself feeling this way when I hear bad news about our adoption case? A sharp turn on the roller coaster and we hear the government is putting things on hold.  "Lord, do you not care about us or our daughter?"  Then I'm reminded of the truth.  Just like the disciples had Jesus, He is watching over us and my daughter.  (heading up the exciting hill with anticipation) When I fear and doubt I'm reminded that we have a promise.  I know God has our daughter in His hands.  His ways are higher than mine.  Just when I think  I could have a court day tomorrow we dip down on the roller coaster and told now the courts are closed for three weeks.  More waiting time. 
Every twist and turn in life is the journey.  My journey is created just for me.  I have to tell myself every day to just strap myself in, sit back and throw my hands up in surrender. Enjoy the ride!

Read Luke 8:22-25 and give God your fear.

Favorite roller coasters: Millenium Force at Cedar Point, The Dragster at Cedar Point, The Beast at Kings Island, The Minebuster at Canada's Wonderland, Fire and Ice at Islands of Adventure, New York New York rooftop coaster in Vegas.
The best by far?  Adoption! and Can't wait to see the snapshot of our faces when we get to meet our daugther for the first time.

Inching Forward

I'm amazed at how a little bit of good news can change my attitude.  One minute I'm  grouchy at a slow driver on the road and then I'm praising God when I have a pleasant experience checking out of a store.  My children can make me angry as they rush out the door and leave the milk, cereal and bowl out for me to clean and then they come home with a smile and a story to share about school.  Does this happen to you?  Call it what you will (and don't say female mood swings) but I like it.  It's a swing between your will and God showing up in your life. 
I emailed an update on my adoption yesterday.  There are lots of confidential information that I can't blog about at this point so I keep family in the loop. We are told that some new guidelines that have been put in place have been pushed through for some cases.  Obviously not ours or you would hear about it.  Instead of being disappointed, God has taught me to thank Him in every situation and in every bit of news.  (be it good or bad) But we are inching forward.  Someone got good news about their case and that means one more child is closer to having a new, loving family.  My daughter is in God's care and I sleep at night with that assurance.  Not sure when I began to think this way.  I truly believe it's been a process.  A wise and older family member (that could be any of them because I am the youngest, remember?) told me that they have only gone to God with the 'big' things in life.  But only now, realizing that God enjoys and invites us to 'converse in all facets of life'.  I love this realization.  This is inching forward to a closer walk with God. I guess since I've made some big moves in life I've had to go to Him with every little thing.  Don't get me wrong, it doesn't come natural.  As we get older, life gets harder but hopefully we get wiser.  Wow, that's a whole other topic.  But not for today. 

If you will humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, in His good time He will lift you up. Let Him have ALL your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you. 1 Peter 5: 6-7 TLB

 

 

A New Year, a new endeavor

I began to write this entry on January 1 but was in Mexico and couldn't get my blog up and running.  Regardless, it's still a new day, a new year and I have new goals and new endeavors.  I love fresh starts.  It brings me back to when I was a kid and I moved in grade 8 (first sign I'm Canadian, I know) and had to meet new friends.  I took up a new sport (basketball) and fit in to a new crowd. Life at 13 was good. New endeavors have been a big part of my life, especially when we moved our family to the U.S. and had to find a new house, new neighborhood, new friends and a new church.
So, why blog? I stay at home and volunteer in my kid's schools and in our church.  I'm not a linguist by any stretch of the imagination.  My sixteen year old blows me out of the water in this department.  I thought about blogging so much that my answer kept being, 'why not blog'.  Well, I have a couple reservations.  A huge one is that I've been known to be a little on the private side.  I don't let you in until we really get to know each other.  On vacation I was reading the forward of a book by Kay Warren called Dangerous Surrender.  This statement jumped out at me; 'you can impress people from a distance but to deeply influence others you must allow them to get close to you'.
Another reason is that I don't always think my thoughts are worthy of sharing.  Sounds like a lack of confidence.  I have confidence in so many areas of my life but I guess growing up as the youngest of 5 makes me sometimes want to take the 'back seat' (literally in our '78 station wagon). I was reminded of the movie Julie and Julia.  Where a young woman sets out to create a new dish by Julia Child every day for one year.  Her passion attracted many readers.  My faith in Jesus Christ has always been apart of my upbringing, and as an adult it has become an essential element to my life.  The Bible has been my lifeline and so many of my thoughts, experiences, and decisions I've made for my life reflect God's guidance.
Our newest adventure is following God's call to adopt and so this is my journey worth unfolding.  I was reading a fitness magazine and came across a life coach's book called Your Journey Matters.  So, there you have it.  We all have stories to tell.
So here's me embracing the blogging world.

2 Corinthians 5:20 We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.